Mega-Work-Weekend: A Collection of Haikus.

FRIDAY

Post Ceremony:
"Thank God. Get in here, woman.
I need martinis."



SATURDAY

Walked in Central Park
Until all the streetlights lit
Now, where's the East Side?



SUNDAY

My brain is just mush
But I saw THE BEST mullet
While on the subway.



MONDAY

"eh, well, they're okay."
Karmic retribution and
thousand dollar plants.

Adventures In Apartment 6D

The following is an actual conversation that took place between 4:00 and 5:00 am.


Mandy: (rolls over, pets cat, and opens eyes slightly to see something round and shiny- a cockroach- on the edge of the bed) *GASP!* OH MY GOD!

Ben: (starts from sleep) What is it?

Mandy: Ahhhhh OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!

Ben: Are you okay? What's going on?

Mandy: (spoken very quickly while trying to put Ben between herself and shiny round object) Ben I think there's a cockroach on the edge of the bed and I don't like it and I don't want to deal with it and ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Ben: Where?

Mandy: (points) over there! over there! I think it's on the edge of the bed! It's round and shiny and I don't want to see it!

Ben: Well, close your eyes then, I'm going to turn on the light. (Snaps light on). Mandy, that isn't a cockroach. That is one of the handles of your purse.

Mandy: Oh. Oops!!


After I apologized profusely, Ben went back to sleep, and I struggled to get my heart rate down to a resting speed. PHEW!! Who knows what I would have done if it actually HAD been a roach.