Nowadays, I'm not like that. It takes a lot more buildup to get me there- certainly more than one day's worth of frustration. In today's case, it was three (pretty much) solid days of frustration that broke the camel's back. And my tear ducts. Ick.
The worst part is trying to convince everybody that I am fine, because I am. It just so happens that I am mega- sensitive, even though I am much LESS sensitive now than I used to be. And then we get into the whole smile crying thing....and it's just not pretty...
[I'm sure I shouldn't find that picture as funny as I do. I'm sure it has some heartbreaking context that will make me feel guilty, which is why I specifically avoid looking into said context.]
For me, crying is more an annoyance than anything else. It makes me look silly and weak, and like I can't let things roll off my back. Why is everyone around me so much stronger than I am? And why can't I just suck it up and NOT cry when I feel the tears coming? I wish I knew.
Although, sometimes I feel like crying is my way of processing things that bother me. I discover the irritation, I stew about it, cry over it, and then I feel better. It probably isn't the healthiest way to deal with unpleasantries, but apparently it has been working for the last 26 years, or it wouldn't be so terribly well ingrained. Must look into that.
And it's been a weird, not-so-great day. Good thing we have crybaby Dawson.
Crying only makes you appear weak to stupid people. You aren't stupid. You lack perspective. Crying is breathing for the soul. There are sad tears, angry tears, happy tears, and probably tears for every sort of emotion humans have. Crying in public shows that you have the strength to be vulnerable. And that does take strength.
ReplyDeleteYou don't recognize it as such because it comes easy to you. We don't recognize our mental strengths because they come easy to us and the're invisible. It's not like we come home and flex our mental muscles in front of the mirror. There's nothing wrong with being MEGA-sensitive either. It requires a massive and persistent level of strength and since we have no choice, we end up developing it. The strength we are forced to develop to survive helps us in all areas of life.
It helps us understand other people's pain.
It helps us be strong as we grapple with the obstacles in our lives as we pursue our goals.
It helps us to understand ourselves, what we want, and why we do the things we do.
I have interacted with thousands of people in my life. In that time I've met nobody better than you. No one is kinder, stronger or more determined than you.
Never regret that which makes you who you are. The world is better because you are in it, and if you try to change yourself because you think something in your nature is fundamentally flawed you may rob the world of some of the value of your greatness.
OK. I think I'm done now. I'm done. NOW.