Ghosts of Halloweens Past

Last year, Halloween was on a Sunday, and I was just finishing my shift at the slots when the girl behind the bar slid back into the service well and asked for help making a cosmo. I, having just learned how to do it, jumped on the task, and before long, was carrying a cosmopolitan martini (in one of those stemless, fishbowl type glasses) out to the bar. The bartender pointed to where it belonged.

And there she sat.

She had long blonde hair and an outfit that was almost completely purple- even her fingernails were purple. She thanked me for the drink and I, not wanting her to feel like I was staring at her for too long, made a clumsy comment about the color of her fingernails, which was really pretty. She thanked me, and we also talked about the stemless fishbowl glass- how nice they look, how they serve coffee in them in other countries, those kinds of things. She gave me the money for the drink and I ducked back into the service bar to get her change.

Now, there is something that I didn't tell you about this lady. It was pretty clear from the get go that she was a man. I didn't want to embarrass her, because she really did look great. It was just the face-stubble and sort of deep voice that kind of gave her away. When I came back out to give her her change, she leaned a little further over the bar and said, "I just want to thank you for being so nice to me. This is a truly terrifying experience." She explained that it is really hard for her to find support (especially in that area) and that Halloween is one of the only nights a year that she feels safe to present as a woman- that way she probably wouldn't be beaten up. "And, hey--" she said, getting up from her barstool, "how do I look??" She turned around, and I took in her purple tights (awesome) and her heels (also awesome) and her purse and her watch.

"You look really great." I said. And I meant it. I held out my hand, "My name's Mandy."

She shook it. "I'm Natalia."

"Really nice to meet you," I said, "Happy Halloween!!"

Natalia, where ever you are this Halloween, I hope that you have found a group of people that loves and accepts you for whoever and whatever you want to be. I hope that you have found a place, both geographically and mentally, where you feel more comfortable donning those purple outfits- and maybe even make an appearance on a day besides October 31st. I hope that your fingernails are another awesome color and that you've had a few more cosmos, and I hope you're really happy.

Happy Halloween Everybody!!