Remember all the way back when Grey's Anatomy didn't suck? It used to be a medical drama based around a group of (somewhat) likeable characters and their experiences as surgical residents. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes sad, sometimes exciting- would the patient pull through? You could relate to those people- they were like someone you knew. I liked that. Now it's just a bunch of whiney "doctors" who do nothing but sleep around and continue to be totally shocked when one terrible thing after another happens at their hospital- bombs, car accidents involving emergency vehicles, floods, crazy people with guns- who knew Seattle was such a violent place>? I don't watch it anymore- too much stress. Plus, there's just something about the interview decorum of series creator Shonda Rhimes that rubs me the wrong way. That whole "Oh, haha, I know what's going to happen and YOU don't!" "Better watch this week! Someone's gonna DIE!" Yeah. No. I'll pass.
But I digress...
There is one particular moment from those early episodes that has always stood out to me- a moment I can really sympathize with. George O'Malley, who is aggravated, upset, and visibly flustered, bursts through a door and thrusts himself down amongst his friends. "Who here feels like they have NO idea what they're doing?" he spits, and everybody raises their hand. I'm with you, George.
I think, if I were totally honest with myself, I dont know what I'm doing about 75% of the time. This usually doesn't include the easy stuff, like my commute (although sometimes it does...you'd be surprised.) I know what I WANT to do in the future, I think I know the steps I have to take to get there- and yet, sometimes I feel so totally lost- how is ANYTHING I'm doing going to help me get what I want? Am I already too old to get on the right track? Is any of what I've done even CLOSE to the track I want to be on? Most of the time, I am able to rationalize the steps I have taken so far, and realize that rushing right into grad school is not the best choice for me right now. I have to keep plugging away and taking whatever opportunities I can get. I need more life experience than I have right now. I feel like if I rushed back to get my masters, it would feel like undergrad: round two, and I would end up trying to teach a group of college students who are still around my same age, most of whom wouldn't take me the slightest bit seriously. I know I wouldn't. But still. This week has been one of those weeks- where I've felt lost approximately 100% of the time. There are still a couple of days left though. Maybe I'll come around.
Not about Grey's Anatomy, though. Nowadays it just plain sucks.
No comments:
Post a Comment