And so I did. Two or three times, actually. I wanted to make sure that I had addressed everything that my professor would assess and that it was as perfect as possible. I didn't drink any more coffee than usual, but if someone had told me that I had actually woke up Tuesday morning and smoked crack, I would have believed them- my energy was off the wall insane. After my fifth or sixth time reading my paper over (which, by the way, was eerily similar to my first draft..), I decided that enough was enough. If nothing else, I would be awarded points for the obvious time and effort that I had put in. I went to the coffee shop on the corner and tried to concentrate on regulating my heart rate and keeping my eyelid from twitching. I'm sure that my pupils were about twice their normal size. BUT the most important thing is that I handed my paper in. I can only hope that the extra time and worry that I put into it will not result in it's downfall (e.g. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Chrystal Skull...).
When class was finished, I suddenly realized that I was starving, grabbed some takeout from the Indian place on 95th, and headed home to transcribe my lesson plan from the page to the computer. Then I got a glimpse of a portion of the assignment I hadn't seen before- TWO EXTRA pages of items that I hadn't begun to think about. And I might have had a meltdown. But I was miraculously able to pull myself together and actually READ the items. No big deal. However, when I got to class the next day (a day that was also spent wondering if my coffee had had crack in it), I saw that almost everybody in the class must've had a similar moment. I walked in to the sound of my professor yelling over the buzz in the room, "LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW. IF THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, WE WILL GO OVER IT TODAY AND YOU CAN RE-SUBMIT. THERE IS NO REASON TO PANIC." Everybody was so freaked out that I had to laugh a little. You know, I'd imagine that all grad school classes ARE like this, but it is just so funny to have a bunch of people (mostly women) with VERY similar attitudes, personalities, and organizational styles all in the same room, all trying their best to over-achieve.
As a reward to myself for finishing the two giant projects of the moment, I went on a Kindle shopping spree. I usually use my Kindle to buy four types of books; 1) free downloads/vanity presses, 2) books I'm interested in reading that are less than $3 in the Kindle store, 3) books that I would like to read but are so embarrassing that I would be too ashamed to actually bring them to a cash register/check out desk, and 4) Agatha Christies. "I'll just read one chapter of [shameful harlequin romance title here] before I go to bed," I told myself. Chya. Fast forward to 2am, when I decide that it REALLY is time for bed. I learned a valuable lesson that night: do not start a book so close to bedtime. Especially if you are feeling particularly cracked out. Results can be dire.
I bounced out of bed on Thursday, feeling crack-eyed and ready for the day, but it was short lived. After a brief observation of a local classroom, I crashed. Hard. And yesterday was decidedly devoid of that cracked- out feeling and instead full of laundry. OH, and a trip to Babbo with Ben and his friend, Alex. But that's another story.
And I guess that brings us to today. I usually spend Saturday mornings moping around and griping about how I don't want to go to work, but this weekend, my boss is out of town AND I get to work a double with a co-worker that I much prefer over the usual one. So I guess I'll survive. OH. and a best friend is in town and we have plans to get together tomorrow. So if I can somehow make it through today unscathed, I'll be incredibly pleased with myself.
I'll probably need more
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