love me some jack hodgins...

...and lance sweets, of course.


i'm watching bones and doing chores while ben tries to sell over priced clothes at the third most-robbed banana republic store in the country.

i'm having computer issues- or power cord issues, i guess. fortunately, i have a mac that is less than a year old, so i'm hoping that a fairly simple trip to an apple store will provide with me a new power cord and solve all my problems. i know that issues with technology are not usually that easy, but that seems to always be the case with apple and mac products, so i'll dare to dream.

being without a computer does strange things to my brain, which doesn't say much about my ability to survive without technology, but really, who can nowadays?? i just mean that i want to write and research and record things and listen to my podcasts, and i can't. sure, there's ben's computer--and his desktop, but they don't have all my STUFF. plus the lap top is a dinosaur and i can't relax on my bed and use the desktop at the same time. *sigh* i'll just have to be patient.

while i was home (in maine, that is...), i had to field several questions about how i was liking philly, and you know, my answer was far different than it was around thanksgiving. in november i would have told everyone that the city was nice but that i was going to be ready to leave it when the time came. now, i still feel like the city is nice, but more and more i feel like i am finding a niche here. i'm starting to feel like i'm establishing myself in a way that i can actually see getting bigger and better. i have a nice apartment in a safe neighborhood, and across the street from my house is an amazing thai restaurant and a deli which makes THE best cheesesteak in philly (and i really do know, i've tried all of the "big three" and a few others...). we live near a main street full of bars and gourmet food stores and consignment shops and all kinds of awesome. we also live near pretzel park.

i have a job that allows me the freedom to embrace my hobbies. i get to work with kids who i love, and get to flex my educational muscles as well as my motherly ones. also, working with kids= the best birth control ever. in the world. who has two thumbs and will certainly not have kids until she's totally ready? THIS girl!

i have an internship at one of the more prominent theatre companies in philadelphia, and i hope that within the next few months, i'll be able to start teaching theatre classes too-- i start assisting teachers next week!! :)

i feel like i've built a pretty good life here- and i will be sorry to have to leave it, because in all likelihood, i WILL have to. there are avenues that could be explored where i DO stay here, but the thing about those is, i'm not wild about the other things that they entail- i.e. ben being in new york and me not being allowed to live in student housing and unable to afford to live in new york by myself. but i guess, in that scenario, at least i have this city to cheer me up. i like it here.

First Philly Audition--and a few thoughts about Christmas.

I want to preface this by saying that my experience in real-world auditioning is pretty minimal. I'm more used to auditioning for people who know me already- who have had me in class or seen me perform or have already decided that a role is mine. And yeah, that's nice, but in a way, it's also crappy. I remember one of the only times that I felt like nothing aside from the audition had legitimately won me a role- and it was an awesome feeling. And now that I am no longer surrounded by teachers and friends and a consistant support system, I can only hope that someday, I will get to feel that wonderful winning feeling again. I hope.

That being said....

I had an audition recently. I'll skip the specifics just in case someone who is even remotely affiliated with the show should stumble onto this page. What I WILL say is that it is an ensemble cast looking for a female replacement, and that the only positive thing I felt for this audition was the nice neighborhood that it allowed me to see. But I digress

The audition took place at the venue, which was in a REALLY nice neighborhood. The audition was for a role that was comedic, consistant (every Saturday night into the forseeable future), and PAID. The audition was ten minutes long with nobody else in the room besides the "local director" and a couple other hopefuls. I read two sides, was grilled about scheduling, and then told I could leave. I never heard anything else.

Now, I know that I will run into about a zillion more situations like this in my life. I know that this type of structure is probably typical in the real world, and that you don't always get a chance to read more than once, or audition with the people that you would eventually be working with--even though I feel like, in this case, that would have made a lot of sense. I'm not going to try and be aloof and say that I didn't even want that part, because I DID, I really did- even though I thought the sides were kind of poorly written and questioned the credentials of this "local director", I wanted to book it, or be asked to understudy, or at least get a callback. But I didn't. And hey, that's okay, it was certainly not the best audition that I can recall having, and I AM glad that I got at least one under my belt. And I have my foot in various other wonderful doors right now- I have an internship that is fantastic with people who are wonderful and knowledgable and hilarious. I have a part-time job that allows me the freedom to pursue other projects AND get hugs from 30 of the most adorable children I've ever met in my life on a daily basis- I have a lot of great things going on. But I really want to be onstage again. I know that I have to start at the bottom and work my way up here- I know that it's going to take a while to get my foot in the door and that I have to be persistant and remember that nobody here owes me anything-nobody is obligated to cast me. I just have to keep trying. And I will.

I sort of feel like that rant was a little pointless. But I've spent too much time typing it out. There it will stay.

Anyway.

In other news, I have managed to make about 80% of this year's Christmas presents completely by hand, which was not easy, but feels freakin' awesome- there is something very satisfying about looking at the huge pile of handmade crap you have to somehow fit in your suitcase without breaking or crushing it and knowing that YOU and your craftiness are responsible for all of it. AND I've just learned how to crochet hats, which is very exciting. I'll be in the great state of Maine form December 23rd to December 30th, which I think is JUST enough time, and I can't wait to see my sister. and my FRIENDS!

that's all for now!

except...this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__kQ1PCP6B0a). Merry Christmas-week to all!! And to all, a quick journey to Friday!!

Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you stay on TV tonight?

the chiropractor that lives on my street has a giant house with a driveway (huge) and a big open-air porch. in an effort to get the entire neighborhood into the christmas spirit, this chiropractor has placed a life-sized animatrontic santa claus on his porch, which does nothing but stand there and wave at all the passers-by. i go back and forth on thinking it is festive and cute or just plain creepy.

anyway. i was standing in front of this waving santa, talking to my mother when she brought something rather strange to my attention. "I was watching Fox News this morning- (the be-all and end all with my rabid conservative parents), and there was some crazy old man who had published a book bashing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."

ummm----do what now??

my mother elaborated on the story---obviously this man was a deranged liberal, and thank GOD there was a conservative genius there to point out the error of his ways--

and i guess i won't even touch that part of it. to me this isn't so much about political parties as it is about a beloved Christmas character.

HERE is the story, you can make up your own mind. Everybody has a right to their own opinion, and if the bullying in the story frosts your sugarplums, then that's that. But here are my two cents:

1) yeah, Rudolph IS bullied by the other reindeer AND by his teacher. he is different and they are uncomfortable with that. HOWEVER, isn't this whole story about realizing everybody's differences and celebrating them?? doesn't rudolph meet a bunch of misfit toys that were once rejected and find homes for all of them? and DOESN'T Rudolph end up guiding the freaking sleigh and "going down in history?" all of those that once made fun ate their words. he overcame everything!!

and

2) by that token, if you are going to put a ban on Rudolph for the bullying portrayed there, why don't you put a ban on the story of Lady Gaga, who overcame bullying and is now one of the most well-known musical icons anywhere? or (as much as it pains me say it) Robert Pattinson, who was bullied for his interest in performing arts as a child? Or better yet, why not tell President Obama that his stories of being bullied when he was younger are not something to be discussed-even though he is now the President, his past might be upsetting.

look, i'm not saying that bullying is right, or that it should be tolerated-ever, because it isn't, and it shouldn't be. it is NEVER okay to make another person-particularly a child- feel bad about themselves. however, i think if Rudolph were not a fictional talking reindeer, he would be a part of the "it gets better" campaign, telling kids that even though you might feel bad now, you can rise above the hardships and really make a good life for yourself. Rudolph would join the ranks of people like President Obama, Lady Gaga, and that wonderful guy from 2nd City that does the Sassy Gay Friend skits to encourage children to be brave in the face of bullying, and teach other children that bullying is wrong and should be stopped. I also think that Rudolph would encourage everybody to embrace what makes them different and special, which is a lesson that everybody needs- not just at Christmas, but all the time.

So let's not put a ban on the movie!!

Also, my favorite Christmas song is at the end--- let's give that a listen. OH and make sure to look for the elf wearing sunglasses as he hooks Rudolph up to the sleigh. I love that part.

November 24th

I was tempted many times to post the things that I am thankful for this year as a facebook status, but resisted, feeling that I would probably think of several thousand more things I was even more thankful for and thus have several thousand facebook updates today. However, I have had all of thanksgiving to think about it, and I came up with a list of the things that this year, I am the happiest to have.

- I am thankful that I did not have to work this thanksgiving, and that I was given enough time off to make it from Philly to Maine and spend the day with my giant family.

-I am thankful for my huge family that all gets together this time of year for thanksgiving and black friday shopping. I feel like it's sort of a rarity that families are able to get together, even for the holidays, and I guess I am just one of those amazingly lucky people that gets to have their family together at the holidays

-I am thankful for all of my amazing friends. I am happy that I am able to keep in touch with all of the people that really matter, in spite of the distance between some of us.

-I am thankful for my tiny apartment in Philadelphia, and my comfortable side of the bed and my kitchen table and my really small sink, and my kitty that wakes me every morning, and my boyfriend that lives there with me and takes care of me and always wakes up to hold me when I have a bad dream.

I could go on and on and on, there are so many little things that I am happy to have in my life! My grandmother remarked today that I seemed really happy. And I am really happy. And that's great.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Thanks-WINNING!!!

Here they are, this week's WINNERS!!! I was going to look for two more to make it a perfect five, but with wins that are this awesome, I think these three can hold their own.

3) Jason Segel talks Muppets and focus groups. Hilarity ensues.

2) animals that drive has always been a dream/nightmare of mine...

1) Finally, a thanksgiving movie the entire family can enjoy!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING MONDAY!! :)

Oh---Jesus.

Ben and I had a chopped salad for dinner. I had actually never heard of a chopped salad until a couple of weeks ago, when Ben suggested one while we were doing laundry. At first I was skeptical- I'm rather partial to salads where the lettuce is big and leafy and there are big hunks of tomato and nice slices of cucumber and satisfying morsels of everything else- but upon reflection I have found the chopped salad to be a rather genius idea- you can get a little bit of everything onto your fork and then into your mouth! No wonder so many people like them!

You can relax though, because I have no intention about discussing chopped salads any more. The fact that we were cutting some vegetables in the kitchen is really all you need to know. Ben had just cut the top off of a red pepper and removed all the seeds and the strange little parasitic pepper thing that you sometimes find inside the big juicy ones. I snatched the orange-green blob up off the cutting board. "Look," I joked, "it's the baby Jesus."

This lead to an amusing talk of Jesus-es past- the grilled cheese Jesus, the cheetoh Cheesus, the monologue in Lonely Planet where Carl is telling Jody an anecdote about a washer-woman who sees the face of Jesus and/or satan in the plate that she is washing, which reminds me now that I know someone for whom that monologue might be good.

I learned later, while I was making cookies, that Jesus has been pretty busy this week. A man in Maine has alleged that Jesus told him it was okay to squat in someone else's home while they were on vacation (read all about it right HERE). There was no hesitation, of course, because the opinion was seconded by the man's dog. If that weren't enough for him to be certain that he was making the right decision, there was also the promise that he would meet Taylor Swift in the house, and proceed to marry her in the back yard. I'm not sure if it was the dog or Jesus who told him that one, but he's been charged with theft and criminal trespassing. And while I didn't think that I would say this, Jesus may have inadvertently been onto something with this poor guy, who is probably homeless and hungry. Perhaps if he could get a little jail time he'd be able to avoid spending much of the harsh Maine winter outside, and that would be a good thing.

oh, and on a completely un-related note, I have become obsessed with THIS. Maybe it's a maternal motherly woman thing. Maybe it's my love of dogs. Maybe it's just plain awesome. But that dog can feel free to babysit any children I may have.

Swordfish.

Today I learned that a good friend of mine from high school has passed away. I'm not going to say any more about it, because it isn't my place and I feel like it would be tacky. What I will say is that I will miss him and think of him often, and that the news of his death did something to my perception today. I was suddenly in love with everything- every little thing that I could see and feel and that could make me feel alive- it makes me sad to know that this friend will not be able to experience these things anymore- no more autumn days and crunchy leaves, no more hugs, just empty space and silence. But today the leaves changing colors on the trees, the giant pretzel statue in pretzel park, Doretha bringing me an extra wild cherry capri sun, the pair of four year old twins that must give me hugs once they see me, the intensity of how much I loved all of these little things was overwhelming and wonderful. At least a shred of happiness came from today.

That's all for now.

Perhaps later this week I'll give details of my exploits as mouse-hunter. Just not today.