My Handsome Friend Telly

When I was working at the slots, I had a strategy that would give me a little "up" when I was feeling down. For every bad thing that happened or that I thought, I would make myself think of two good things, and then I would feel better. I can't take all the credit for this though. My strategy was actually a solitary version of a game invented by my friend, Tyler, and I think it was originally used to make fun of someone, but nevertheless, it helped me get through some of the rougher days of slinging diet coke and feeling unsure about where my life was headed.

After posting my last entry and doing some serious meditation and soul-searching, I have decided to bring back my old strategy. Now, considering the severity of my last post and it's negativity, I have decided that I will share not two, but FOUR good things that have made me happy this week.

1) I got to skype with my handsome friend, Telly last night, who I have not seen in a while. It was very god to catch up, and he gave me a wonderful suggestion for the title of the post this morning!

2) My sister bought THESE SHOES for me, and they arrived at my apartment last night!! Ruby red, just like dorothy!! Lets see those flying monkeys try and catch me now!!

3) I got to spend much of yesterday cooking and watching the Golden Girls. I just love Betty White!!!

4) THIS GUY. There's something about his little face that tells you he knows that today will be a good day. And frankly, who am I to argue with that??

2 Words To Live By

Last week I had drinks with my friend, Katie. As we both simultaneously tried to tune out and eavesdrop in on the "writing club" that had spread itself out on the couches next to us, I shared my exploits as waitress, which inevitably involved some of New York's bitchiest.

See?? That's the thing," Katie said between sips of Stella. "People don't need to be mean. There is never a reason to be mean. Like, ever."

I know that this is a common sense type revelation for the entirety of my readership, but KATIE IS RIGHT. When you put things in perspective, there is almost nothing that you should really be mad about. With a few obvious exceptions. Murder of a family member, for instance.

Maybe I'm expecting too much. Or maybe I am just too sensitive to live in New York, I don't know. But I do know this: if you think that being a snarky jerk is all just part of- or worse- part of the FUN of living in New York, then I just feel sorry for you. Call me an optimist, an idealist, an idiot, whatever you want, but I honestly believe that a lot of the world's problems could be fixed if we all just adhered to two simple words- one tiny rule- BE KIND.

There are a lot of people out there, it seems, who are walking around with a sense of entitlement. They believe that the sheer act of being who they are entitles them to preferential treatment. They should be allowed right of way on the sidewalk, they have the right to have explicitly expressed rules bent for them, and if their needs are not met, they are entitled to be sour, nasty, and just plan mean to everybody. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this entitlement is false- shouldn't everyone just expect the same treatment? However, there is one thing that I think even the grouchiest of grouches DOES deserve- and THAT is to be treated with kindness. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed that not everybody sees eye to eye about this. I just don't see how there can be so much anger and hatred out there in the world- so many people who are cruel because they feel like they can- or because it's acceptable in the place they live. It's not. Its just NOT.

I don't understand why kindness is not the first option for everybody, or how, for some people, the other blobs walking around near them on this planet are not PEOPLE, but punching bags without nerves or brains or emotions. I don't understand how wanting to make people happy or make them feel better or to just be polite and kind to them labels me as some sort of idiot in many circles. I'm not stupid. I just want to be nice and I want to be treated with respect- and that is the same sort of behavior that I would like to see from everybody else. I didn't realize until recently that this concept is so difficult for so many.

Needless to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks....

...But I'll end on this note- if you've had a recent experience where something good has come from kindness- or if you plan on kindness helping you through a tough spot- will you comment or message or email me and let me know how it goes? I know that the world is full of decent and wonderful people, and that I am lucky enough to have surrounded myself with some of the absolute best- and sometimes it's nice to have proof of the power of kindness in writing- maybe to restore my faith on a particularly tough day.

Mega-Work-Weekend: A Collection of Haikus.

FRIDAY

Post Ceremony:
"Thank God. Get in here, woman.
I need martinis."



SATURDAY

Walked in Central Park
Until all the streetlights lit
Now, where's the East Side?



SUNDAY

My brain is just mush
But I saw THE BEST mullet
While on the subway.



MONDAY

"eh, well, they're okay."
Karmic retribution and
thousand dollar plants.

Adventures In Apartment 6D

The following is an actual conversation that took place between 4:00 and 5:00 am.


Mandy: (rolls over, pets cat, and opens eyes slightly to see something round and shiny- a cockroach- on the edge of the bed) *GASP!* OH MY GOD!

Ben: (starts from sleep) What is it?

Mandy: Ahhhhh OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!

Ben: Are you okay? What's going on?

Mandy: (spoken very quickly while trying to put Ben between herself and shiny round object) Ben I think there's a cockroach on the edge of the bed and I don't like it and I don't want to deal with it and ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Ben: Where?

Mandy: (points) over there! over there! I think it's on the edge of the bed! It's round and shiny and I don't want to see it!

Ben: Well, close your eyes then, I'm going to turn on the light. (Snaps light on). Mandy, that isn't a cockroach. That is one of the handles of your purse.

Mandy: Oh. Oops!!


After I apologized profusely, Ben went back to sleep, and I struggled to get my heart rate down to a resting speed. PHEW!! Who knows what I would have done if it actually HAD been a roach.

Brunching Philosophical

I think that brunch is my favorite shift of the week. I get to make lots of really strong breakfast drinks, serve the most delicious looking food on the planet, and talk with a lot of really interesting people- not to mention the whole crazy tips part. Today at brunch I chatted with a fellow runner. She is training for a marathon and takes “classes” with a running store around the corner from Bistro Nora. They aren't really classes, I guess, but it is a big group of people that all gets together and does big runs together and people notice if you aren't there- which she says keeps her motivated. And Bistro Nora's brunch keeps her protein-ated. And full. Also among the brunchers today were a group of seriously hungover adults- and when I say adults, I mean people older than the typical hangover crowd- who ordered bloody marys and the greasiest meals on the menu. They were really funny and really nice, despite the fact that they had obviously had a rough night- and an even rougher morning. And then there was a reservation for lunch for twelve. They were some kind of travel group, and Danny, the owner, had worked out a fixed menu for them. I was a little worried that this was going to be a stressful situation for me. However, this group of twelve had traveled all the way from France, and out of the twelve of them, only one spoke a word of english. He kept count of who wanted what, I used tally marks, and the kitchen brought everything out. (As Danny says) Piece of cake! As far as french goes, I can understand it pretty well, but I am no good at making my own sentences and speaking. However, I could hear everybody talking about how delicious their food was and how sweet their waitress was as well[o:)]. I'm feeling like today was a pretty good day.

In spite of the fast pace and really wonderful customers, today was super long. And I got to thinking about the future, and what sort of job I'd like to have once it's time for babies. I told Ben that I was liking the idea of being a “stay at home mom” more and more. His response? “I think you'd get really bored.”

I thought about it. And I think he's right. Once my kids were in school, I would be desperate for things to do all day. We came up with a list of things I might entertain myself with....

-get REALLY into Soap Operas

-run a SUPER DUPER marathon

-alphabetize Chandler's funny lines throughout the Friends series

-bake every pastry possible for every single neighbor, even the grouches

-plant a humongous garden

-take in zillions of stray animals (which Ben alleges that he will “put his foot down” about, but I don't think he will be able to resist their sweet faces once I get them in the house....)

-knit and/or crochet matching hats, mittens, sweaters, scarves, and socks for my entire extended family and all close friends. And acquaintances.

I'm sure there are more. Anyone have any suggestions?

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!!

I Happen To Like New York

I've always known that Manhattan is all of my favorite things in the world, smushed together and dumped on an island between the Hudson and the East River. But it wasn't until I moved here that I realized the degree to which this place has my very favorite things pegged- not just the big obvious things like Broadway Shows, a huge dance scene, and- yeah- Krispy Kreme Donuts- but the little things. Tiny things. Minutiae. New York- I LOVE YOU!

For starters, there's Central Park. Now, I know that this one seems pretty big and obvious, but I have been able to approach the park in a way that I never have before- like a runner. My sister, cousin, and I will be running THIS RACE in February- which, yes, we picked almost entirely because of it's location and our ability to plan a vacation around it, but even so, we have to train in order to finish the damn thing and still be able to have said vacation without hiring people to push us around in wheelchairs. Long(er) story short- I have been running! I'm nowhere near 13.1 miles yet, but I found out last weekend that I CAN run 5 and ½!! For me, that is huge. There are trails everywhere- through the woods, around bodies of water, and there's even a road that is closed to vehicles for the majority of the day so that people can walk, run, bike, or rollerblade across the park. I've been trying to make a new route for myself every day and take trails or turns that I haven't before, and I always end up in a wild new place- sometimes I even find myself thinking, 'Well, CRAP, this is really really far away from 97th street...'. It's awesome to have so much to look at while running- the museums, the playgrounds, statues and sculptures, the puppeteers on Sunday mornings, the entrance to the zoo...which actually brings me to my next point...

People watching in New York is the best I have seen anywhere. This is due, in part, to the sheer volume of people per capita- there are people everywhere- talking on cell phones, crossing the street, chatting with their friends, shopping, laughing, crying, eating- all the time. I'm a huge fan of any cell-phone conversation that I am within earshot of, mostly because you WOULD NOT believe the types of things that people will talk about on cell phones- from what they did or did not do in Stephanie's bed last night to the fight they are having with their father to- jeesh- all kids of other stuff, it never fails to keep me interested for the duration of my walk near them. I also love watching children in the city- the pudgy toddlers who are trying to keep up with the foot traffic on Lexington Avenue sidewalks, children riding their scooters and shouting to their nannies about how close they are to their school, and, my personal favorite, children having tantrums. In the number one position to date is a little girl that Ben and I observed recently as we walked home from one of the Upper East Side Goodwill locations (I know what you're thinking, and it is actually SHOCKING how disappointing their stuff is- every single time we go!). This little girl was crying and screaming that her mother was wrong as they walked down the sidewalk, but the best part was, she was screaming and arguing IN FRENCH. “La maison n'est pas la!” (“the house is not there!”) she kept insisting, and while I'm sure it would have been stressful if it were my child, I couldn't help but chuckle as we passed them. I'm not sure if they were on their way to the alleged house that would not be there, or maybe if it was brought up from a previous disagreement in her obviously tired state. But it was funny and endearing. Poor little thing. I hope she got a nap soon. She really needed it.

waitress/waitress

My friend Joe lives in LA, and has been coming into some great success with television work. Just recently, he did background work for “New Girl.” Look for him in the premiere if you know him! And if you don't, he's an indie-awesome looking guy with chuck taylors and a great pair of glasses. Look for him!

Anyway, Joe tweeted something the other day- I imagine while he was on set (!!)- that I really liked. “I'll put it this way:” he wrote, “I've never been anywhere I've wanted to arm-wrestle less than right here.” It was fun to imagine Joe on a real television set, living the dream, surrounded by many a douchey- looking actor/model with a too-tight t-shirt and scary arm muscles. And after a recent experience at a Mount Sinai “mixer,” I can honestly say that I understand the sentiment. In a big way.

I wasn't so much worried about the arm-wrestling thing. I usually hope to escape most places without having to arm-wrestle. But when Ben and I were mingling with soon-to-be med students (and munching on these really delicious coconut chicken-nugget things), I realized that I had never been anywhere I wanted to discuss my college major and current occupation less. I could feel my whole upper body turn red when I would tell someone that no, I am not in the program, I am actually a waitress. I had never felt like less of a success- with anything. I was surrounded by people going into one of the top medical schools in the country, and suddenly felt like my brain must be broken.

Afterwards, I had to take some time to remind myself that I am NOT “just a waitress.” I have a great many strokes to go with the whole waitress thing- waitress/dancer, waitress/writer, waitress/seamstress, waitress/actress, waitress/half marathon trainee, waitress/craft guru... I have a great many projects that being a waitress allows me to embrace in my down time, and I like my hobbies! I'm LIVING THE DREAM!

And that even if I was JUST a waitress, I'm sort of glad to be. I am very pleased with my new job- good money, flexible hours, everybody is SO nice, and the food is unbelievably good. All of it! The more I think about it, the more I realize how fortunate I am that everything has come together in this way, because being a waitress is exactly what I want to be right now.

Arm-wrestling, on the other hand, will continue to be something I avoid at all costs.