On Monday I came across a list of the "10 Most Hated" Christmas songs in one of New York City's many tabloid papers. While I give the team responsible an A for effort, I DO seriously have to question said list, because it did not include Sir Paul McCartney's "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time" OR a techno disco remix of "Last Christmas" that is always so popular at shopping malls this time of year. This list, however, DID get me thinking about Christmas songs- the good, the bad, and the just plain weird.
I won't bore you with my top 10 list of worst Christmas songs. You already know where it is headed. I WILL, however, share with you two of the strangest Christmas songs I've ever heard. Here it goes.
Percy the Puny Poinsettia (recorded By Elmo and Patsy)- Try as I might, I could not find a YoutTube version of this song, so I found the next best things- the lyrics, as well as a very creepy singing poinsettia which sings a little bit of the song. I've just gotta give the rhyme makers here some props- poinsettia is not an easy word to rhyme, and they've got all kinds of ways to bend some words and make it work- wetta, betta, redda--in fact, I kind of wish there was a reference to 'chedda' in there somewhere. They also really manage to pull at your heartstrings for this poor flower- 'even a plant with no uncle or aunt should spend christmas day by himself.' I hope you'll think of Percy the next time you see a tiny little poinsettia this time of year.
Must Be Snooki Claus (recorded by CoolKingChris and the Bob and Sheri Cast)- this song is a parody of a more traditional Christmas earworm, Must Be Santa, which, once you hear, you will not get out of your head for approximately seven years. Must Be Snooki is a fun spinoff of this, and while it will still get stuck in your head, the lyrics are infinitely more entertaining. Do yourself a favor and watch the photo montage as well. The whole thing is pretty funny.
Does anybody else have a bizarre Christmas Song to share? Let me know, I wanna hear 'em!!
Happy Hump Day!
...
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
12-11-12
It's been many moons since my last post. I fear that I may be turning into a "real" New Yorker. I've been working full time plus at the restaurant, and while I SHOULD be celebrating my financial success as I am now made of money, all I can do is gripe and complain about who I have no free time and I'm always tired and how all this caffeine is making my eyelid twitch.
My apologies.
I've been really missing Philly lately. I mean, it was a little far awa from Maie for my liking, but I was very happy there. I had a job that I loved with kids that I adored and miss very much, I had an amazing internship which, though unpaid, earned me some wonderful experience and a longing for an office full of people as awesome as those at the Arden. I was cooking for Ben in our tiny apartment and I had close friends close by and I even took up running up and down the hills of Manayunk. Maybe it's graduation goggles but hell, I even miss the disgusting public transportation in Philly. And Philly Shakespeare. And Old City. And Kip the looney ballet teacher. And auditions.
BUT I DIGRESS.
The holidays are now upon is. Hanukkah has begun and I am (believe it or not) mostly finished with my Christmas shopping and crafts. I've been making an effort to enjoy the process this year and not be so stressed. So far, so good.
Ben and I will also be able to travel together to Maine for the holiday, which, after Thanksgiving's nightmarish debacle, is awesome. We will leave New York on December 20, stay in Boston with some awesome friends that evening, and depart for Maine on the eve of the 21st. I will arrive in Maine on the 22nd. MARK YOUR CALENDARS, PEOPLE!!
So, in an effort to get myself a little more amped about the holiday season and feeling good and less Philly-sick (or whatever it is), I am gonna try and count down the last few days until Christmas with some of my favorite holiday memories, thoughts, etc. I already posted a clip from the Claymation Christmas Special, a program that I thoroughly believe should be mandatory viewing for all during the month of December. It's got everything- dinosaurs, ice-skating walruses, the California Raisins, and, of course, CHRISTMAS SNACKS! There's a VHS copy of it on the Fahey homestead- if ONLY i had a VCR!!
Today I want to share a memore of one of the BEST Hanukkah stories ever- Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins. I was first introduced to the story my senior year of high school, when one of the most kickass teachers ever read it aloud to our creative writing class. IT follows the adventures of Herschel as he outwits a band of Hanukkah-hating goblins and eventually comes face to face with the goblin KING before bringing Hanukkah back to the village. The story is great, the pictures are great, it's just awesome.
Around this time last year, I had the opportunity to take some children fro Greene Street to see a production of 'Herschel' put together by a local creative arts group. IT was very well done- there were bright colors, fuzzy puppets, and a bunch of jokes that the kids really liked. However, there was one element that I hadn't been counting on.
We has been warned ahead of time that some of the show might be scary for smaller children, but even with this knowledge, all of the kids wanted to see the show. I found myself sandwiched between two of the more nervous Kindergarteners- who had decided at the last minute that they WOULD like to wach the show instead of sitting outside with me- as long as I could sit next to them- in the aisle. A great time was had by all- until the Goblin King's booming voice was heard. You know those creepy voice-distorters that they show kidnappers using on crime dramas? Yeah, THAT was the voice of the Goblin King. I simultaneously had to deal with two situations- the first was Julian, who immediately crawled onto my shoulder and perched there like he was a parrot. I somehow managed to balance him there while chasing after Talia, who began running up the steps of the auditorium to get away from the scary voice. I scooped both of them into my arms and tried to explain that it was just a microphone and that it wasn't real, but they weren't having it. Mercifully, the show ended soon after, and even more mercifully, the children were given a chance to see the puppets with the house lights on. After that, Julian and Talia both agreed that the Goblin King was their favorite part. Go figure.
My apologies.
I've been really missing Philly lately. I mean, it was a little far awa from Maie for my liking, but I was very happy there. I had a job that I loved with kids that I adored and miss very much, I had an amazing internship which, though unpaid, earned me some wonderful experience and a longing for an office full of people as awesome as those at the Arden. I was cooking for Ben in our tiny apartment and I had close friends close by and I even took up running up and down the hills of Manayunk. Maybe it's graduation goggles but hell, I even miss the disgusting public transportation in Philly. And Philly Shakespeare. And Old City. And Kip the looney ballet teacher. And auditions.
BUT I DIGRESS.
The holidays are now upon is. Hanukkah has begun and I am (believe it or not) mostly finished with my Christmas shopping and crafts. I've been making an effort to enjoy the process this year and not be so stressed. So far, so good.
Ben and I will also be able to travel together to Maine for the holiday, which, after Thanksgiving's nightmarish debacle, is awesome. We will leave New York on December 20, stay in Boston with some awesome friends that evening, and depart for Maine on the eve of the 21st. I will arrive in Maine on the 22nd. MARK YOUR CALENDARS, PEOPLE!!
So, in an effort to get myself a little more amped about the holiday season and feeling good and less Philly-sick (or whatever it is), I am gonna try and count down the last few days until Christmas with some of my favorite holiday memories, thoughts, etc. I already posted a clip from the Claymation Christmas Special, a program that I thoroughly believe should be mandatory viewing for all during the month of December. It's got everything- dinosaurs, ice-skating walruses, the California Raisins, and, of course, CHRISTMAS SNACKS! There's a VHS copy of it on the Fahey homestead- if ONLY i had a VCR!!
Today I want to share a memore of one of the BEST Hanukkah stories ever- Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins. I was first introduced to the story my senior year of high school, when one of the most kickass teachers ever read it aloud to our creative writing class. IT follows the adventures of Herschel as he outwits a band of Hanukkah-hating goblins and eventually comes face to face with the goblin KING before bringing Hanukkah back to the village. The story is great, the pictures are great, it's just awesome.
Around this time last year, I had the opportunity to take some children fro Greene Street to see a production of 'Herschel' put together by a local creative arts group. IT was very well done- there were bright colors, fuzzy puppets, and a bunch of jokes that the kids really liked. However, there was one element that I hadn't been counting on.
We has been warned ahead of time that some of the show might be scary for smaller children, but even with this knowledge, all of the kids wanted to see the show. I found myself sandwiched between two of the more nervous Kindergarteners- who had decided at the last minute that they WOULD like to wach the show instead of sitting outside with me- as long as I could sit next to them- in the aisle. A great time was had by all- until the Goblin King's booming voice was heard. You know those creepy voice-distorters that they show kidnappers using on crime dramas? Yeah, THAT was the voice of the Goblin King. I simultaneously had to deal with two situations- the first was Julian, who immediately crawled onto my shoulder and perched there like he was a parrot. I somehow managed to balance him there while chasing after Talia, who began running up the steps of the auditorium to get away from the scary voice. I scooped both of them into my arms and tried to explain that it was just a microphone and that it wasn't real, but they weren't having it. Mercifully, the show ended soon after, and even more mercifully, the children were given a chance to see the puppets with the house lights on. After that, Julian and Talia both agreed that the Goblin King was their favorite part. Go figure.
Friday, October 26, 2012
My Handsome Friend Telly
When I was working at the slots, I had a strategy that would give me a little "up" when I was feeling down. For every bad thing that happened or that I thought, I would make myself think of two good things, and then I would feel better. I can't take all the credit for this though. My strategy was actually a solitary version of a game invented by my friend, Tyler, and I think it was originally used to make fun of someone, but nevertheless, it helped me get through some of the rougher days of slinging diet coke and feeling unsure about where my life was headed.
After posting my last entry and doing some serious meditation and soul-searching, I have decided to bring back my old strategy. Now, considering the severity of my last post and it's negativity, I have decided that I will share not two, but FOUR good things that have made me happy this week.
1) I got to skype with my handsome friend, Telly last night, who I have not seen in a while. It was very god to catch up, and he gave me a wonderful suggestion for the title of the post this morning!
2) My sister bought THESE SHOES for me, and they arrived at my apartment last night!! Ruby red, just like dorothy!! Lets see those flying monkeys try and catch me now!!
3) I got to spend much of yesterday cooking and watching the Golden Girls. I just love Betty White!!!
4) THIS GUY. There's something about his little face that tells you he knows that today will be a good day. And frankly, who am I to argue with that??
After posting my last entry and doing some serious meditation and soul-searching, I have decided to bring back my old strategy. Now, considering the severity of my last post and it's negativity, I have decided that I will share not two, but FOUR good things that have made me happy this week.
1) I got to skype with my handsome friend, Telly last night, who I have not seen in a while. It was very god to catch up, and he gave me a wonderful suggestion for the title of the post this morning!
2) My sister bought THESE SHOES for me, and they arrived at my apartment last night!! Ruby red, just like dorothy!! Lets see those flying monkeys try and catch me now!!
3) I got to spend much of yesterday cooking and watching the Golden Girls. I just love Betty White!!!
4) THIS GUY. There's something about his little face that tells you he knows that today will be a good day. And frankly, who am I to argue with that??
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
2 Words To Live By
Last week I had drinks with my friend, Katie. As we both simultaneously tried to tune out and eavesdrop in on the "writing club" that had spread itself out on the couches next to us, I shared my exploits as waitress, which inevitably involved some of New York's bitchiest.
See?? That's the thing," Katie said between sips of Stella. "People don't need to be mean. There is never a reason to be mean. Like, ever."
I know that this is a common sense type revelation for the entirety of my readership, but KATIE IS RIGHT. When you put things in perspective, there is almost nothing that you should really be mad about. With a few obvious exceptions. Murder of a family member, for instance.
Maybe I'm expecting too much. Or maybe I am just too sensitive to live in New York, I don't know. But I do know this: if you think that being a snarky jerk is all just part of- or worse- part of the FUN of living in New York, then I just feel sorry for you. Call me an optimist, an idealist, an idiot, whatever you want, but I honestly believe that a lot of the world's problems could be fixed if we all just adhered to two simple words- one tiny rule- BE KIND.
There are a lot of people out there, it seems, who are walking around with a sense of entitlement. They believe that the sheer act of being who they are entitles them to preferential treatment. They should be allowed right of way on the sidewalk, they have the right to have explicitly expressed rules bent for them, and if their needs are not met, they are entitled to be sour, nasty, and just plan mean to everybody. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this entitlement is false- shouldn't everyone just expect the same treatment? However, there is one thing that I think even the grouchiest of grouches DOES deserve- and THAT is to be treated with kindness. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed that not everybody sees eye to eye about this. I just don't see how there can be so much anger and hatred out there in the world- so many people who are cruel because they feel like they can- or because it's acceptable in the place they live. It's not. Its just NOT.
I don't understand why kindness is not the first option for everybody, or how, for some people, the other blobs walking around near them on this planet are not PEOPLE, but punching bags without nerves or brains or emotions. I don't understand how wanting to make people happy or make them feel better or to just be polite and kind to them labels me as some sort of idiot in many circles. I'm not stupid. I just want to be nice and I want to be treated with respect- and that is the same sort of behavior that I would like to see from everybody else. I didn't realize until recently that this concept is so difficult for so many.
Needless to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks....
...But I'll end on this note- if you've had a recent experience where something good has come from kindness- or if you plan on kindness helping you through a tough spot- will you comment or message or email me and let me know how it goes? I know that the world is full of decent and wonderful people, and that I am lucky enough to have surrounded myself with some of the absolute best- and sometimes it's nice to have proof of the power of kindness in writing- maybe to restore my faith on a particularly tough day.
See?? That's the thing," Katie said between sips of Stella. "People don't need to be mean. There is never a reason to be mean. Like, ever."
I know that this is a common sense type revelation for the entirety of my readership, but KATIE IS RIGHT. When you put things in perspective, there is almost nothing that you should really be mad about. With a few obvious exceptions. Murder of a family member, for instance.
Maybe I'm expecting too much. Or maybe I am just too sensitive to live in New York, I don't know. But I do know this: if you think that being a snarky jerk is all just part of- or worse- part of the FUN of living in New York, then I just feel sorry for you. Call me an optimist, an idealist, an idiot, whatever you want, but I honestly believe that a lot of the world's problems could be fixed if we all just adhered to two simple words- one tiny rule- BE KIND.
There are a lot of people out there, it seems, who are walking around with a sense of entitlement. They believe that the sheer act of being who they are entitles them to preferential treatment. They should be allowed right of way on the sidewalk, they have the right to have explicitly expressed rules bent for them, and if their needs are not met, they are entitled to be sour, nasty, and just plan mean to everybody. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that this entitlement is false- shouldn't everyone just expect the same treatment? However, there is one thing that I think even the grouchiest of grouches DOES deserve- and THAT is to be treated with kindness. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed that not everybody sees eye to eye about this. I just don't see how there can be so much anger and hatred out there in the world- so many people who are cruel because they feel like they can- or because it's acceptable in the place they live. It's not. Its just NOT.
I don't understand why kindness is not the first option for everybody, or how, for some people, the other blobs walking around near them on this planet are not PEOPLE, but punching bags without nerves or brains or emotions. I don't understand how wanting to make people happy or make them feel better or to just be polite and kind to them labels me as some sort of idiot in many circles. I'm not stupid. I just want to be nice and I want to be treated with respect- and that is the same sort of behavior that I would like to see from everybody else. I didn't realize until recently that this concept is so difficult for so many.
Needless to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks....
...But I'll end on this note- if you've had a recent experience where something good has come from kindness- or if you plan on kindness helping you through a tough spot- will you comment or message or email me and let me know how it goes? I know that the world is full of decent and wonderful people, and that I am lucky enough to have surrounded myself with some of the absolute best- and sometimes it's nice to have proof of the power of kindness in writing- maybe to restore my faith on a particularly tough day.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Mega-Work-Weekend: A Collection of Haikus.
FRIDAY
Post Ceremony:
"Thank God. Get in here, woman.
I need martinis."
SATURDAY
Walked in Central Park
Until all the streetlights lit
Now, where's the East Side?
SUNDAY
My brain is just mush
But I saw THE BEST mullet
While on the subway.
MONDAY
"eh, well, they're okay."
Karmic retribution and
thousand dollar plants.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Adventures In Apartment 6D
The following is an actual conversation that took place between 4:00 and 5:00 am.
Mandy: (rolls over, pets cat, and opens eyes slightly to see something round and shiny- a cockroach- on the edge of the bed) *GASP!* OH MY GOD!
Ben: (starts from sleep) What is it?
Mandy: Ahhhhh OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!
Ben: Are you okay? What's going on?
Mandy: (spoken very quickly while trying to put Ben between herself and shiny round object) Ben I think there's a cockroach on the edge of the bed and I don't like it and I don't want to deal with it and ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Ben: Where?
Mandy: (points) over there! over there! I think it's on the edge of the bed! It's round and shiny and I don't want to see it!
Ben: Well, close your eyes then, I'm going to turn on the light. (Snaps light on). Mandy, that isn't a cockroach. That is one of the handles of your purse.
Mandy: Oh. Oops!!
After I apologized profusely, Ben went back to sleep, and I struggled to get my heart rate down to a resting speed. PHEW!! Who knows what I would have done if it actually HAD been a roach.
Mandy: (rolls over, pets cat, and opens eyes slightly to see something round and shiny- a cockroach- on the edge of the bed) *GASP!* OH MY GOD!
Ben: (starts from sleep) What is it?
Mandy: Ahhhhh OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!
Ben: Are you okay? What's going on?
Mandy: (spoken very quickly while trying to put Ben between herself and shiny round object) Ben I think there's a cockroach on the edge of the bed and I don't like it and I don't want to deal with it and ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Ben: Where?
Mandy: (points) over there! over there! I think it's on the edge of the bed! It's round and shiny and I don't want to see it!
Ben: Well, close your eyes then, I'm going to turn on the light. (Snaps light on). Mandy, that isn't a cockroach. That is one of the handles of your purse.
Mandy: Oh. Oops!!
After I apologized profusely, Ben went back to sleep, and I struggled to get my heart rate down to a resting speed. PHEW!! Who knows what I would have done if it actually HAD been a roach.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Brunching Philosophical
I think that brunch is my favorite shift of the week. I get to make lots of really strong breakfast drinks, serve the most delicious looking food on the planet, and talk with a lot of really interesting people- not to mention the whole crazy tips part. Today at brunch I chatted with a fellow runner. She is training for a marathon and takes “classes” with a running store around the corner from Bistro Nora. They aren't really classes, I guess, but it is a big group of people that all gets together and does big runs together and people notice if you aren't there- which she says keeps her motivated. And Bistro Nora's brunch keeps her protein-ated. And full. Also among the brunchers today were a group of seriously hungover adults- and when I say adults, I mean people older than the typical hangover crowd- who ordered bloody marys and the greasiest meals on the menu. They were really funny and really nice, despite the fact that they had obviously had a rough night- and an even rougher morning. And then there was a reservation for lunch for twelve. They were some kind of travel group, and Danny, the owner, had worked out a fixed menu for them. I was a little worried that this was going to be a stressful situation for me. However, this group of twelve had traveled all the way from France, and out of the twelve of them, only one spoke a word of english. He kept count of who wanted what, I used tally marks, and the kitchen brought everything out. (As Danny says) Piece of cake! As far as french goes, I can understand it pretty well, but I am no good at making my own sentences and speaking. However, I could hear everybody talking about how delicious their food was and how sweet their waitress was as well[o:)]. I'm feeling like today was a pretty good day.
In spite of the fast pace and really wonderful customers, today was super long. And I got to thinking about the future, and what sort of job I'd like to have once it's time for babies. I told Ben that I was liking the idea of being a “stay at home mom” more and more. His response? “I think you'd get really bored.”
I thought about it. And I think he's right. Once my kids were in school, I would be desperate for things to do all day. We came up with a list of things I might entertain myself with....
-get REALLY into Soap Operas
-run a SUPER DUPER marathon
-alphabetize Chandler's funny lines throughout the Friends series
-bake every pastry possible for every single neighbor, even the grouches
-plant a humongous garden
-take in zillions of stray animals (which Ben alleges that he will “put his foot down” about, but I don't think he will be able to resist their sweet faces once I get them in the house....)
-knit and/or crochet matching hats, mittens, sweaters, scarves, and socks for my entire extended family and all close friends. And acquaintances.
I'm sure there are more. Anyone have any suggestions?
Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!!
In spite of the fast pace and really wonderful customers, today was super long. And I got to thinking about the future, and what sort of job I'd like to have once it's time for babies. I told Ben that I was liking the idea of being a “stay at home mom” more and more. His response? “I think you'd get really bored.”
I thought about it. And I think he's right. Once my kids were in school, I would be desperate for things to do all day. We came up with a list of things I might entertain myself with....
-get REALLY into Soap Operas
-run a SUPER DUPER marathon
-alphabetize Chandler's funny lines throughout the Friends series
-bake every pastry possible for every single neighbor, even the grouches
-plant a humongous garden
-take in zillions of stray animals (which Ben alleges that he will “put his foot down” about, but I don't think he will be able to resist their sweet faces once I get them in the house....)
-knit and/or crochet matching hats, mittens, sweaters, scarves, and socks for my entire extended family and all close friends. And acquaintances.
I'm sure there are more. Anyone have any suggestions?
Enjoy the rest of the weekend!!!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I Happen To Like New York
I've always known that Manhattan is all of my favorite things in the world, smushed together and dumped on an island between the Hudson and the East River. But it wasn't until I moved here that I realized the degree to which this place has my very favorite things pegged- not just the big obvious things like Broadway Shows, a huge dance scene, and- yeah- Krispy Kreme Donuts- but the little things. Tiny things. Minutiae. New York- I LOVE YOU!
For starters, there's Central Park. Now, I know that this one seems pretty big and obvious, but I have been able to approach the park in a way that I never have before- like a runner. My sister, cousin, and I will be running THIS RACE in February- which, yes, we picked almost entirely because of it's location and our ability to plan a vacation around it, but even so, we have to train in order to finish the damn thing and still be able to have said vacation without hiring people to push us around in wheelchairs. Long(er) story short- I have been running! I'm nowhere near 13.1 miles yet, but I found out last weekend that I CAN run 5 and ½!! For me, that is huge. There are trails everywhere- through the woods, around bodies of water, and there's even a road that is closed to vehicles for the majority of the day so that people can walk, run, bike, or rollerblade across the park. I've been trying to make a new route for myself every day and take trails or turns that I haven't before, and I always end up in a wild new place- sometimes I even find myself thinking, 'Well, CRAP, this is really really far away from 97th street...'. It's awesome to have so much to look at while running- the museums, the playgrounds, statues and sculptures, the puppeteers on Sunday mornings, the entrance to the zoo...which actually brings me to my next point...
People watching in New York is the best I have seen anywhere. This is due, in part, to the sheer volume of people per capita- there are people everywhere- talking on cell phones, crossing the street, chatting with their friends, shopping, laughing, crying, eating- all the time. I'm a huge fan of any cell-phone conversation that I am within earshot of, mostly because you WOULD NOT believe the types of things that people will talk about on cell phones- from what they did or did not do in Stephanie's bed last night to the fight they are having with their father to- jeesh- all kids of other stuff, it never fails to keep me interested for the duration of my walk near them. I also love watching children in the city- the pudgy toddlers who are trying to keep up with the foot traffic on Lexington Avenue sidewalks, children riding their scooters and shouting to their nannies about how close they are to their school, and, my personal favorite, children having tantrums. In the number one position to date is a little girl that Ben and I observed recently as we walked home from one of the Upper East Side Goodwill locations (I know what you're thinking, and it is actually SHOCKING how disappointing their stuff is- every single time we go!). This little girl was crying and screaming that her mother was wrong as they walked down the sidewalk, but the best part was, she was screaming and arguing IN FRENCH. “La maison n'est pas la!” (“the house is not there!”) she kept insisting, and while I'm sure it would have been stressful if it were my child, I couldn't help but chuckle as we passed them. I'm not sure if they were on their way to the alleged house that would not be there, or maybe if it was brought up from a previous disagreement in her obviously tired state. But it was funny and endearing. Poor little thing. I hope she got a nap soon. She really needed it.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
waitress/waitress
My friend Joe lives in LA, and has been coming into some great success with television work. Just recently, he did background work for “New Girl.” Look for him in the premiere if you know him! And if you don't, he's an indie-awesome looking guy with chuck taylors and a great pair of glasses. Look for him!
Anyway, Joe tweeted something the other day- I imagine while he was on set (!!)- that I really liked. “I'll put it this way:” he wrote, “I've never been anywhere I've wanted to arm-wrestle less than right here.” It was fun to imagine Joe on a real television set, living the dream, surrounded by many a douchey- looking actor/model with a too-tight t-shirt and scary arm muscles. And after a recent experience at a Mount Sinai “mixer,” I can honestly say that I understand the sentiment. In a big way.
I wasn't so much worried about the arm-wrestling thing. I usually hope to escape most places without having to arm-wrestle. But when Ben and I were mingling with soon-to-be med students (and munching on these really delicious coconut chicken-nugget things), I realized that I had never been anywhere I wanted to discuss my college major and current occupation less. I could feel my whole upper body turn red when I would tell someone that no, I am not in the program, I am actually a waitress. I had never felt like less of a success- with anything. I was surrounded by people going into one of the top medical schools in the country, and suddenly felt like my brain must be broken.
Afterwards, I had to take some time to remind myself that I am NOT “just a waitress.” I have a great many strokes to go with the whole waitress thing- waitress/dancer, waitress/writer, waitress/seamstress, waitress/actress, waitress/half marathon trainee, waitress/craft guru... I have a great many projects that being a waitress allows me to embrace in my down time, and I like my hobbies! I'm LIVING THE DREAM!
And that even if I was JUST a waitress, I'm sort of glad to be. I am very pleased with my new job- good money, flexible hours, everybody is SO nice, and the food is unbelievably good. All of it! The more I think about it, the more I realize how fortunate I am that everything has come together in this way, because being a waitress is exactly what I want to be right now.
Arm-wrestling, on the other hand, will continue to be something I avoid at all costs.
Friday, August 10, 2012
little girl, BIG CITY!!
I've never really been clear on what it takes to be able to call yourself a “New Yorker.” I know that in Maine, you're only ever REALLY considered a Mainer if you were born there, your parents were born there, and you feel comfortable using downeast jargon (“yeah bub,” “wicked,” “cold enough for yeh?”) in everyday life. I imagine that there is some sort of similar code for the city of New York, so for the time being, I will refrain from calling myself a New Yorker. Instead, I will simply say that I live in New York now. I LIVE IN NEW YORK NOW!!
Ben and I are now the proud tenants of a sixth-floor, one bedroom apartment on the upper east side. The whole thing was pretty simple, actually. We just had to open a joint bank account, provide proof of prior cohabitation, sign over power of attorney to each other and, oh yeah, schlep over to city hall and become domestic partners (shockingly easy, with the exception of the clerk making awkward jokes about when the proposal would happen...) And now, POOF!! We're officially recognized by the school as a “couple.” Awesome!
As I'm sure you are all dying to know, Babs is getting along quite swimmingly in the new place. She was stress-shedding a lot when we first brought her up here, but I think she's come into her own. She's chasing her toy mice and meowing at her food bowl and putting herself in inconvenient places. All is well.
I'll admit that I was a having a bit of anxiety about finding a job/things to do with myself while Ben is examining cadavers and studying embryology (his very first class- uplifting, I know). I spend a full eight hours earlier this week applying for jobs- mostly administrative, but a few serving- and, POOF! I may have one already...?! It seems almost too good to be true, but tonight I have my first training shift at a tiny bistro on 2nd Avenue. The co-owners, two very sweet brothers, seemed satisfied with my previous casino experience and winning smile, and, since I “seemed pretty easy going,” they offered me a job about 5 minutes into my “interview.” They also seem perfectly chill with the fact that I will be using this job to finance my walk-on role on All My Children. Or my best-seller. Whichever comes first.
Dare to dream, Mandy.
Ben and I are now the proud tenants of a sixth-floor, one bedroom apartment on the upper east side. The whole thing was pretty simple, actually. We just had to open a joint bank account, provide proof of prior cohabitation, sign over power of attorney to each other and, oh yeah, schlep over to city hall and become domestic partners (shockingly easy, with the exception of the clerk making awkward jokes about when the proposal would happen...) And now, POOF!! We're officially recognized by the school as a “couple.” Awesome!
As I'm sure you are all dying to know, Babs is getting along quite swimmingly in the new place. She was stress-shedding a lot when we first brought her up here, but I think she's come into her own. She's chasing her toy mice and meowing at her food bowl and putting herself in inconvenient places. All is well.
I'll admit that I was a having a bit of anxiety about finding a job/things to do with myself while Ben is examining cadavers and studying embryology (his very first class- uplifting, I know). I spend a full eight hours earlier this week applying for jobs- mostly administrative, but a few serving- and, POOF! I may have one already...?! It seems almost too good to be true, but tonight I have my first training shift at a tiny bistro on 2nd Avenue. The co-owners, two very sweet brothers, seemed satisfied with my previous casino experience and winning smile, and, since I “seemed pretty easy going,” they offered me a job about 5 minutes into my “interview.” They also seem perfectly chill with the fact that I will be using this job to finance my walk-on role on All My Children. Or my best-seller. Whichever comes first.
Dare to dream, Mandy.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
controversial. ish.
okay. It was originally my plan to put my blog on hiatus until Ben and I reached new York and unpacked our bags and had a moment to freak out about how awesome life is. In all likelihood, that is exactly what will happen after this post. I do fully intend to, as Hayley says, "blog the SHIT out of New York" once I get there. But something that happened in this past week's visit to Maine filled me with the urge to write. Sammy, Ange and I experienced something that I can honestly say was like nothing I've ever seen. That something was 'Magic Mike.' And that something was some kind of awful.
Now, if you have me pegged for one of those people who had their mind made up before they even entered the theater, then you have it all wrong. I WANTED to like this movie. My friends have loved it, I've really wanted to see it- I was deeply disappointed when my first attempt to view was thwarted by exhaustion and an upset stomach. I mean, come on. It's MALE STRIPPERS. GORGEOUS GUYS TAKING THEIR CLOTHES OFF AND DRY HUMPING WHATEVER IS AVAILABLE. What is not to like here? The answer: any conceivable effort toward a storyline.
The first few minutes of the movie were not so bad Mike, the brooding, experienced stripper, takes "the Kid" under his wing and introduces him to the glamorous world of exotic dancing. The guys all get on stage and shake it for the ladies, everybody's having a good time. And that's where it ends. We are then introduced to the Kid's older sister- a frumpy, monotonous, rather masculine looking woman that Mike mysteriously finds attractive, the dark side of stripping- or as I like to call it, "drugs are bad, ya'll", and Mike's dream of selling furniture instead of dancing for cash. By now, I am feeling so bad and grossed out for these guys that I really can't enjoy their subsequent stripping scenes. I'm worried that the Kid is going to get himself of Mike into trouble, and I can't watch them prance around in various states of undress without being reminded of this fact. The shit hits the fan, total chaos ensues- drug dealers want their money, the frumpy sister is angry and yelling, Mike doesn't know what to do, and Matthew Mcconaughey, perhaps the only part of the movie that I enjoyed from start to finish- is moving his boys from Tampa to Miami. Apparently there are even more horny housewives there. THEN Mike goes over to the grouchy sister's house and explains that he isn't leaving. They make some weird joke about breakfast- a theme that they have tried to pull through the entire movie but I can honestly say that I didn't understand at any point- and then they make out. THE END.
Roll credits. Lights up. We're all blinking at the screen in disbelief that THAT is how it ended. Then come the comments- "Oh my GOD, that was TERRIBLE!" "I can't believe it got so many good reviews!" "Well....I kind of liked the first ten minutes." We were all hard-pressed to come up with a movie worse than what we had just seen. Even the REALLY bad ones (DareDevil, Be Cool, Something Borrowed) seemed to be more enticing options. It was a disappointment, for suer. And I'm still a little stressed about how so many elements of the story were left...erm...dangling. What happened to the Kid and his drug problem? Did he ever realize that he was being a total shithead? how'd everyone fare in Miami? What about Mike's trashed apartment and draine bank account? What about the custom furniture that he was going to sell? Why they hell couldn't he just get a credit card and stop carrying piles of cash around? Believe it or not, the list goes on (and on...) but you get the idea.
For those of you that haven't seen it, my advice is this: Wait until it's on Netflix, and then fast forward through any part where he guys are fully clothed. Trust me, you'll be in for a much more pleasurable viewing.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Obligatory Status Update- OR- Catching Up Over Coffee. Only Without The Coffee.
Forgive me, oh blogosphere, for I have sinned. It has been a million zillion years since I have last written. I cannot begin to explain the number of times that the task of blogging has crossed my "to-do" list, only to be overshadowed by something more important. But have no fear, that phase of my blog is over. On to newer, better, and (most importantly) MORE FREQUENT posts! Whew. I think I just felt everybody's collective sigh of relief. Well, you're welcome. I know you've missed me.
I want to start with a couple of links to blogs that I like to read when I'm not here. The first is an organization blog called my color coded life, and is actually written by the Education Director at the theatre where I work. There's some really helpful advice in there that is presented in a non-intimidating way. In short, even I can read it and not feel overwhelmed by how messy my apartment might be. So yeah, read her blog, follow it on twitter, go nuts! My favorites are her helpful humpday hints.
The next two are 25 in my 25th, [a blog written by a friend of mine from college. All of her posts are witty, hilarious, and REAL. I'm always excited when I see that she has a new post.] And White Beyonce, [written by another friend of mine from college. Quirky and funny in a totally different- but equally wonderful- way.] Reading these blogs makes me miss my friends, but also sort of makes me feel like maybe they aren't that far away. Thank goodness for the internet- otherwise I might really feel alone.
The last blog that I read is written by a woman named Jenny, or The Bloggess. She's spunky, outrageously funny, and is never ever afraid to say what she thinks. She also has a shop full of excellent crap that everybody needs, writes articles for a parenting blog, AND some really screwed-up sex columns. I would recommend her to anybody that needs a quirked eyebrow, a laugh, or simply a breath of fresh- if not slightly bizarre- air.
Tonight, I am going to take a page out of Jenny's book, and write an installment of SHIt I DID WHEN I WASN'T HERE (only I'll change the name. Nobody likes a copycat). It'll be great- sort of like we haven't seen each other in a while and are meeting up at bagel central to discuss life over bagel-wiches and raspberry-lime rickies (which I assume they've started slinging by now). So, without further ado...
CRAP THAT I'VE DONE WHILE I'VE BEEN GONE....(see what I did there...?)
AT RISING STARS...The Hunger Games has quickly consumed nearly the entire 3rd and 4th grade classes, prompting kids to ask me questions like "So, Amanda, what does a snapped neck look like?" and "Come on, who do you REALLY think deserved to win the games?" It's funny, because until this all started happening, I really hadn't given much though to how very ADULT this book's young adult content is. I would never EVER give this book to a CHILD of 9 or 10, unless I was ready to discuss dystopian society, the shadow archetype, the crowd mentality and how messed up THAT can be, and those creepy things called hormones. Ick.
AT THE THEATRE...Robin Hood is up and running, and has safely settled itself with the other hits that have graced the stage this season. I've booked busses, written lesson plans, and helped organize Girl Scout Day, which was this past Saturday. 100+ girl scouts, troop leaders, and moms came out to catch a matinee of the show and take part in drama school activities, get a special backstage tour, eat a soft pretzel and drink a capri sun. My favorite question of the whole day: "Um, why did the boy and the girl kiss? Did they know each other outside of the theatre?" mig just become my favorite question ever.
PROJECTS THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON....I've crocheted about 100 hats and scarves, and am gearing up to launch a project with them that I am really excited about, but more on that when I get more details ironed out. Ben and I also managed to clean out our closets today, and now have significantly less crap than before. What's scary is how much crap is still left. Bring on the Spring Cleaning!!
SELF INDULGENCE (AND SUCCESS)...I went to an acting class at The Actor's Center, a really awesome place on the other side of the Penn's Landing overpass. The class went really, really well and I was asked to audit another class (one geared more toward camera work) this Wednesday! If all goes according to plan I will spend the next six weeks taking notes and working hard and making sure I present myself as best I can with my headshot and resume. I'm very excited. And I feel so motivated! Even thinking about it makes me really happy! I also have two auditions at the end of May- one for Dog Sees God at the WAG theatre, and the other for Cymbeline with Philly Shakespeare Theatre! I am already slightly obsessing about the outfits I will wear the the monologues I will do and every possible detail. But it's good. It's really good!
CRAP BEN'S DONE...Ben has been accepted to Mount Sanai's medical school in New York City!! He's been given a decent financial aid package AND...we qualify for couples housing!! [All we had to do was open a joint bank account, provide proof of prior cohabitation, give each other power of attorney, and, oh yeah, obtain a domestic partnership once we move to Manhattan...sort of like being married without actually being married]. So, Ben will be moving at some point in August, and I will follow in September. With any luck, we will have a one bedroom apartment with room for a futon, so any and all visitors are WELCOME! Oh, and for those of you that are curious, Babs will be making the move with us. She is allowed to join us in the couples housing apartments as long as she does not grow to be more than 25 pounds and proves to not be part doberman (or any other scary- or not so scary- dog breed). So, everything med school has been pretty awesome. And that's- pretty awesome.
AND there you have it, everything that has been going on since I last wrote. Like I said, I want to make a sincere effort to be more consistant. Here's hoping.
I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD MONDAY!!!
I want to start with a couple of links to blogs that I like to read when I'm not here. The first is an organization blog called my color coded life, and is actually written by the Education Director at the theatre where I work. There's some really helpful advice in there that is presented in a non-intimidating way. In short, even I can read it and not feel overwhelmed by how messy my apartment might be. So yeah, read her blog, follow it on twitter, go nuts! My favorites are her helpful humpday hints.
The next two are 25 in my 25th, [a blog written by a friend of mine from college. All of her posts are witty, hilarious, and REAL. I'm always excited when I see that she has a new post.] And White Beyonce, [written by another friend of mine from college. Quirky and funny in a totally different- but equally wonderful- way.] Reading these blogs makes me miss my friends, but also sort of makes me feel like maybe they aren't that far away. Thank goodness for the internet- otherwise I might really feel alone.
The last blog that I read is written by a woman named Jenny, or The Bloggess. She's spunky, outrageously funny, and is never ever afraid to say what she thinks. She also has a shop full of excellent crap that everybody needs, writes articles for a parenting blog, AND some really screwed-up sex columns. I would recommend her to anybody that needs a quirked eyebrow, a laugh, or simply a breath of fresh- if not slightly bizarre- air.
Tonight, I am going to take a page out of Jenny's book, and write an installment of SHIt I DID WHEN I WASN'T HERE (only I'll change the name. Nobody likes a copycat). It'll be great- sort of like we haven't seen each other in a while and are meeting up at bagel central to discuss life over bagel-wiches and raspberry-lime rickies (which I assume they've started slinging by now). So, without further ado...
CRAP THAT I'VE DONE WHILE I'VE BEEN GONE....(see what I did there...?)
AT RISING STARS...The Hunger Games has quickly consumed nearly the entire 3rd and 4th grade classes, prompting kids to ask me questions like "So, Amanda, what does a snapped neck look like?" and "Come on, who do you REALLY think deserved to win the games?" It's funny, because until this all started happening, I really hadn't given much though to how very ADULT this book's young adult content is. I would never EVER give this book to a CHILD of 9 or 10, unless I was ready to discuss dystopian society, the shadow archetype, the crowd mentality and how messed up THAT can be, and those creepy things called hormones. Ick.
AT THE THEATRE...Robin Hood is up and running, and has safely settled itself with the other hits that have graced the stage this season. I've booked busses, written lesson plans, and helped organize Girl Scout Day, which was this past Saturday. 100+ girl scouts, troop leaders, and moms came out to catch a matinee of the show and take part in drama school activities, get a special backstage tour, eat a soft pretzel and drink a capri sun. My favorite question of the whole day: "Um, why did the boy and the girl kiss? Did they know each other outside of the theatre?" mig just become my favorite question ever.
PROJECTS THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON....I've crocheted about 100 hats and scarves, and am gearing up to launch a project with them that I am really excited about, but more on that when I get more details ironed out. Ben and I also managed to clean out our closets today, and now have significantly less crap than before. What's scary is how much crap is still left. Bring on the Spring Cleaning!!
SELF INDULGENCE (AND SUCCESS)...I went to an acting class at The Actor's Center, a really awesome place on the other side of the Penn's Landing overpass. The class went really, really well and I was asked to audit another class (one geared more toward camera work) this Wednesday! If all goes according to plan I will spend the next six weeks taking notes and working hard and making sure I present myself as best I can with my headshot and resume. I'm very excited. And I feel so motivated! Even thinking about it makes me really happy! I also have two auditions at the end of May- one for Dog Sees God at the WAG theatre, and the other for Cymbeline with Philly Shakespeare Theatre! I am already slightly obsessing about the outfits I will wear the the monologues I will do and every possible detail. But it's good. It's really good!
CRAP BEN'S DONE...Ben has been accepted to Mount Sanai's medical school in New York City!! He's been given a decent financial aid package AND...we qualify for couples housing!! [All we had to do was open a joint bank account, provide proof of prior cohabitation, give each other power of attorney, and, oh yeah, obtain a domestic partnership once we move to Manhattan...sort of like being married without actually being married]. So, Ben will be moving at some point in August, and I will follow in September. With any luck, we will have a one bedroom apartment with room for a futon, so any and all visitors are WELCOME! Oh, and for those of you that are curious, Babs will be making the move with us. She is allowed to join us in the couples housing apartments as long as she does not grow to be more than 25 pounds and proves to not be part doberman (or any other scary- or not so scary- dog breed). So, everything med school has been pretty awesome. And that's- pretty awesome.
AND there you have it, everything that has been going on since I last wrote. Like I said, I want to make a sincere effort to be more consistant. Here's hoping.
I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD MONDAY!!!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
...and just what IS a jackass?
I'll admit it. I seriously considered devoting an entire blog post to my disappointment with the new "Hunger Games" movie. It failed to meet my expectations in several different areas and I was upset that the movie was not identical to the book- a sentiment that I usually have in these scenarios. HOWEVER, after sleeping on it and considering the whole thing today, I have decided that I would not be totally opposed to seeing the movie again, and perhaps this time NOT being quite as rabid about the lack of adherence to the book. So for now, I will leave my shredding of "The Hunger Games" for a later date. Though don't be surprised if it shows up in the near future.
I've been thinking a lot lately- dangerous, I know. I've been thinking about what I should be doing with my life (as per usual), and how I could better prepare myself to get places. Luckily, THIS time, instead of staying up all night watching snippets of embarrassing tween movies (see: March 12, 2012), I've put my anxiety and energy to good use. This time, I spent an afternoon creating a list- a massive to do list of things I want to accomplish in my future- all filed away in a binder that is color-coded, separated by tabs, and organized in a helpful and non-intimidating way. Believe it or not, this giant list has come in quite handy, and makes me feel motivated to star work on some projects (emails, scheduling, crafts, etc), while simultaneously helping me find a way to finish things (i.e. my NOVEL(s) that all sit, unfinished, on my computer's desktop). It's amazing what back-to-school supplies and a little coffee can make you feel capable of. Five-year plan? CHECK! And just like that, I'm winning.
In addition to huge life decisions, I have also been thinking about equally important things- for example, one of the messages presented by Walt Disney's Pinnochio. I haven't seen this movie in quite some time, but it was very popular when my sister and I were young- it was one of the few Disney movies that Dad didn't mind watching with us, so I think it got more than it's fair share of play. But a recent trip to Disney World (a GLORIOUS four days in Orlando with my mother, sister, and grandmother this month), got me thinking about Pleasure Island. Wasn't that whole thing kind of weird? One minute they were playing pool, smoking cigars, getting drunk, and being pretty lame, and then they all turned into donkeys and had to work in salt mines? Pretty screwy. And then it hit me. That whole thing- the donkey thing, is still ludicrous, but suddenly it started to make a little bit of sense. The boys were turned into donkeys- because they were acting like JACKASSES. A-HA! And it only took me 15+ years to figure that out! The more I thought about it, the more I thought that I might have heard Jiminy Cricket say something about making a jackass of yourself- though that seemed awfully crass for a Disney movie. And then I found THIS. Some of the comments for this video assert that by ignoring education and figures of authority, you will turn yourself into a jackass no matter what, while others think that this part is hilarious. Still others encourage viewers to "forget about the saw movies"- that this is one of the most depraved and terrifying things they have ever seen. I think I'm on board with opinions one and three. I don't know how I watched this when I was younger without a slew of nightmares. And I also can't help but think-- you know, Jiminy DOES have a point. Can you imagine a world where wasting your life in bars and being a complete ignoramous would mean you would end up a donkey in the circus or the salt mines? Business on Main Street in Manayunk would CERTAINLY be down. Not to mention the rate of enrollment of any college, anywhere. Regardless, I really like that whole "don't be a jackass" message. When you get right down to it, that possessed toy and talking cricket make an awful lot of sense, don't they?
I've been thinking a lot lately- dangerous, I know. I've been thinking about what I should be doing with my life (as per usual), and how I could better prepare myself to get places. Luckily, THIS time, instead of staying up all night watching snippets of embarrassing tween movies (see: March 12, 2012), I've put my anxiety and energy to good use. This time, I spent an afternoon creating a list- a massive to do list of things I want to accomplish in my future- all filed away in a binder that is color-coded, separated by tabs, and organized in a helpful and non-intimidating way. Believe it or not, this giant list has come in quite handy, and makes me feel motivated to star work on some projects (emails, scheduling, crafts, etc), while simultaneously helping me find a way to finish things (i.e. my NOVEL(s) that all sit, unfinished, on my computer's desktop). It's amazing what back-to-school supplies and a little coffee can make you feel capable of. Five-year plan? CHECK! And just like that, I'm winning.
In addition to huge life decisions, I have also been thinking about equally important things- for example, one of the messages presented by Walt Disney's Pinnochio. I haven't seen this movie in quite some time, but it was very popular when my sister and I were young- it was one of the few Disney movies that Dad didn't mind watching with us, so I think it got more than it's fair share of play. But a recent trip to Disney World (a GLORIOUS four days in Orlando with my mother, sister, and grandmother this month), got me thinking about Pleasure Island. Wasn't that whole thing kind of weird? One minute they were playing pool, smoking cigars, getting drunk, and being pretty lame, and then they all turned into donkeys and had to work in salt mines? Pretty screwy. And then it hit me. That whole thing- the donkey thing, is still ludicrous, but suddenly it started to make a little bit of sense. The boys were turned into donkeys- because they were acting like JACKASSES. A-HA! And it only took me 15+ years to figure that out! The more I thought about it, the more I thought that I might have heard Jiminy Cricket say something about making a jackass of yourself- though that seemed awfully crass for a Disney movie. And then I found THIS. Some of the comments for this video assert that by ignoring education and figures of authority, you will turn yourself into a jackass no matter what, while others think that this part is hilarious. Still others encourage viewers to "forget about the saw movies"- that this is one of the most depraved and terrifying things they have ever seen. I think I'm on board with opinions one and three. I don't know how I watched this when I was younger without a slew of nightmares. And I also can't help but think-- you know, Jiminy DOES have a point. Can you imagine a world where wasting your life in bars and being a complete ignoramous would mean you would end up a donkey in the circus or the salt mines? Business on Main Street in Manayunk would CERTAINLY be down. Not to mention the rate of enrollment of any college, anywhere. Regardless, I really like that whole "don't be a jackass" message. When you get right down to it, that possessed toy and talking cricket make an awful lot of sense, don't they?
Monday, March 12, 2012
sunday=worst night to have sleep troubles.
Last night I was struck by insomnia. It was the terrible, nagging insomnia that is relentless, even long after you've turned off the lights. It was the type of insomnia which reminds you that, no matter what you have done thus far, it is not good enough, and that you are now too old to really do the kinds of things you need to do to get what you want. I tossed and turned and tried to ignore it for about 45 minutes, and then sat up again in bed, turned on the light, and proceeded to make a list of the things I want and the things that I can do in order to put things in motion. It actually looks MUCH less intimidating once it is broken down like that. Suddenly the overwhelming things start looking like baby steps that build up over time so that I can make mammoth strides. I think I can live with that. And Molly suggested a book to avoid future sleepless nights, which Tom bought for me as an early birthday present- definitely something to look forward to. I spent a little while longer youtubing everything under the sun and googling tips for writing fiction (my favorite site was this one.), and then finally got to sleep around 3. And now it's Monday, and the birds are signing outside my window and I think that what remains of today will be good. I have a massive list to tackle, and I find that there are few things that I enjoy more in life than crossing things of lists.
More later.
More later.
Friday, March 9, 2012
...if things don't work out between Ben and I, you best believe I'll be finding an apartment full of geniuses to live next door to....
....but anyway, a thought for today....
There is a phrase that my mother often uses that's become increasingly relevant to me. I remember the first time she said it to me- I was small enough to ride in a grocery cart, and I was interrogating my mother with the many questions of life while she stocked up on mac+cheese and pork chops. "Mom," I asked as she passed me a box of cereal, "why are there so many people in jail?" And then she said it- a phrase I would hear much more- and even grow to repeat someday-
"because people are idiots."
And there you have it- the explanation for SO many of life's unanswerable questions, which included, but were not limited to "why don't people eat their vegetables?" to "why is there hell?" and you know, in my old age, "people are idiots" has become pretty damn useful. Call me naive, but it really had never occurred to me that SO many people are- well, idiots.
So go ahead- use the brilliant reasoning of my mother this weekend. If something bothers you, rationalize with old reliable. People ARE idiots. Go nuts.
And have a good weekend!!
There is a phrase that my mother often uses that's become increasingly relevant to me. I remember the first time she said it to me- I was small enough to ride in a grocery cart, and I was interrogating my mother with the many questions of life while she stocked up on mac+cheese and pork chops. "Mom," I asked as she passed me a box of cereal, "why are there so many people in jail?" And then she said it- a phrase I would hear much more- and even grow to repeat someday-
"because people are idiots."
And there you have it- the explanation for SO many of life's unanswerable questions, which included, but were not limited to "why don't people eat their vegetables?" to "why is there hell?" and you know, in my old age, "people are idiots" has become pretty damn useful. Call me naive, but it really had never occurred to me that SO many people are- well, idiots.
So go ahead- use the brilliant reasoning of my mother this weekend. If something bothers you, rationalize with old reliable. People ARE idiots. Go nuts.
And have a good weekend!!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine's Day- 2012
Ben and I had already decided that we would celebrate Valentine's Day on Saturday. He had a lot of things to get finished for his MCAT class and Tuesday is in the middle of the week and it would just be more convenient that way. So, when I woke up this morning- feeling pretty rad for having a cold, I was not planning on spending the day with my boyfriend. In fact, I was planning on getting to my internship, filing, emailing, organizing, hopping a train and two buses to rising stars to celebrate Valentine's and then spending the evening with Elizabeth so that Ben could have the apartment to himself to film his teach-back. HOWEVER, the universe must have been conspiring to have us spend this special day together, even if it wasn't for a particularly romantic reason.
This morning, I managed to experience something that I don't think most people can add to their list of bragging rights. I, Mandy Fahey, fainted on a SEPTA bus going into Center City. I was feeling really warm and like I might get carsick, and then I woke up on the floor of the bus, wondering why I was looking at everybody's shoes, which was scary. Fortunately, the 27 makes a stop directly in front of Hahnemann University Hospital. Even more fortunately, I was on a bus of the nicest people in the world, including a nurse and a social worker who helped me off the bus, called Ben, and made sure I was situated in a room before continuing on with their respective days. Ben got there quickly- I think half expecting me to still be unconscious, and I changed into the most confusing hospital gown EVER (there were snaps where there should be sleeves....it took a couple tries). By this time I felt totally fine again, just a little shaken and stuffed up, but I was at the ER, and they needed to make sure that there was nothing wrong with my brain or my heart, AND that I wasn't pregnant (apparently many women find out they are pregnant from passing out...? News to me, but I guess I wouldn't doubt it....). But my brain is fine, my heart is fine, and, according to my nurse, my urine was "pristine," so no babies. It was just as I had suspected, my fainting was a result of not feeling well, being dehydrated, and feeling overheated on a crowded bus. So after ingesting an entire IV bag of saline and watching The Price Is Right on the hospital TV, I was allowed to leave. Ben positioned himself to be able to catch me if i fainted on the bus ride back (I didn't), and I spent the rest of the afternoon drinking seltzer, watching Frasier, and reading cosmopolitain while Ben read up on his chemistry for his next class- how romantic! But we still might celebrate on Saturday...
And so, that is how Ben and I managed to spend our Valentine's Day together. It's also how I acquired a very bizarre experience to my life story. According to my co-worker, Doretha, I am the only person she has ever heard of passing out on a city bus. I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one, but I'm probably in a select few!
Happy Valentine's Day, all!
This morning, I managed to experience something that I don't think most people can add to their list of bragging rights. I, Mandy Fahey, fainted on a SEPTA bus going into Center City. I was feeling really warm and like I might get carsick, and then I woke up on the floor of the bus, wondering why I was looking at everybody's shoes, which was scary. Fortunately, the 27 makes a stop directly in front of Hahnemann University Hospital. Even more fortunately, I was on a bus of the nicest people in the world, including a nurse and a social worker who helped me off the bus, called Ben, and made sure I was situated in a room before continuing on with their respective days. Ben got there quickly- I think half expecting me to still be unconscious, and I changed into the most confusing hospital gown EVER (there were snaps where there should be sleeves....it took a couple tries). By this time I felt totally fine again, just a little shaken and stuffed up, but I was at the ER, and they needed to make sure that there was nothing wrong with my brain or my heart, AND that I wasn't pregnant (apparently many women find out they are pregnant from passing out...? News to me, but I guess I wouldn't doubt it....). But my brain is fine, my heart is fine, and, according to my nurse, my urine was "pristine," so no babies. It was just as I had suspected, my fainting was a result of not feeling well, being dehydrated, and feeling overheated on a crowded bus. So after ingesting an entire IV bag of saline and watching The Price Is Right on the hospital TV, I was allowed to leave. Ben positioned himself to be able to catch me if i fainted on the bus ride back (I didn't), and I spent the rest of the afternoon drinking seltzer, watching Frasier, and reading cosmopolitain while Ben read up on his chemistry for his next class- how romantic! But we still might celebrate on Saturday...
And so, that is how Ben and I managed to spend our Valentine's Day together. It's also how I acquired a very bizarre experience to my life story. According to my co-worker, Doretha, I am the only person she has ever heard of passing out on a city bus. I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one, but I'm probably in a select few!
Happy Valentine's Day, all!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
the networking mystery---solved!!
For some reason, I've always imagined networking to be something that only happened in posh mansions in southern california. The only people who were ever known to "network" were very rich people who spent their evenings standing by a swimming pool with some kind of alcoholic beverage in hand, discussing how difficult it is to be rich and busy and important. Obviously I wasn't too clear on the whole "networking" concept, unless you count having a facebook page and posting inside jokes on the walls of my friends, which I don't. But this weekend- I think I might have ACTUALLY experienced it. And there wasn't a swimming pool or alcoholic beverage in sight!
I recently accepted a position with a small production company called Tiny Dynamite, whose claim to fame is the relatively new "a Play, a Pie, and a Pint." Basically, for $15, you get a beer, a slice of pizza, and a 40 minute one act play on a Tuesday or Wednesday evening in Society Hill. It's a pretty sweet deal. I will be their production intern, which means that I will help the stage manager find props, assist during tech rehearsals, and schmooze with audience members before the shows start. I won't be paid, but I WILL get free pizza, beer, and plays, and have the opportunity to meet some really great people. And I figure- the more things I can get on my resume that aren't paid, the closer I can get to actually BEING paid. It's all winning.
So this weekend, I hopped a train to Narbeth, Pennsylvania for our first production meeting. I was half expecting Narbeth to be some kind of scary suburb, as so many of them are, but this place was actually really nice. There was a quaint little main street, with specialty shops and a french bakery where I stopped for a cup of earl grey. And then I made my way to the nicest house on earth, full of the nicest stuff on earth, and some of the nicest people I've met in a while. And all of them were so wonderful and wanting to help me and were just-- GREAT. I had a wonderful time. And that's that- networking is no longer a mystery, and in fact, it was kind of fun! I'm looking forward to working with these people. And on the train back, I had this overwhelming feeling that everything is getting better all the time. Cue the Beatles. WOOHOO weekend!
:)
I recently accepted a position with a small production company called Tiny Dynamite, whose claim to fame is the relatively new "a Play, a Pie, and a Pint." Basically, for $15, you get a beer, a slice of pizza, and a 40 minute one act play on a Tuesday or Wednesday evening in Society Hill. It's a pretty sweet deal. I will be their production intern, which means that I will help the stage manager find props, assist during tech rehearsals, and schmooze with audience members before the shows start. I won't be paid, but I WILL get free pizza, beer, and plays, and have the opportunity to meet some really great people. And I figure- the more things I can get on my resume that aren't paid, the closer I can get to actually BEING paid. It's all winning.
So this weekend, I hopped a train to Narbeth, Pennsylvania for our first production meeting. I was half expecting Narbeth to be some kind of scary suburb, as so many of them are, but this place was actually really nice. There was a quaint little main street, with specialty shops and a french bakery where I stopped for a cup of earl grey. And then I made my way to the nicest house on earth, full of the nicest stuff on earth, and some of the nicest people I've met in a while. And all of them were so wonderful and wanting to help me and were just-- GREAT. I had a wonderful time. And that's that- networking is no longer a mystery, and in fact, it was kind of fun! I'm looking forward to working with these people. And on the train back, I had this overwhelming feeling that everything is getting better all the time. Cue the Beatles. WOOHOO weekend!
:)
Sunday, January 29, 2012
January's WINNING-est!!
Here they are!!! The three most winning-est things I've seen this month!! ENJOY!
3) At the end of my street there is a diner that looks adorable, but we somehow have not managed to get to yet. Outside of this diner are a bunch of free newspaper bins, one of which belongs to Philly's famed, independent "CITY PAPER." Ben and I used it once to wrap each other's Christmas presents, and hey, who could have known that it would go so well?? Turns out there are several pages of...ahem...."adult" classifieds, complete with pictures and vivid descriptions. Christmas wrap AND a good laugh? What more could you want from a free newspaper?? I have the answer. THIS. Now, I'll admit, there are a couple of these that are very sad and/or heartfelt, and to the people who submitted those, I hope everything works out for you. To even fewer- THANK YOU for being so positive!! BUT THE REST OF YOU: how awesome must it feel to have your road rage, complete with a wish that all of this reckless driver's children die of brain tumors, in print?? And the woman who was scored by Kenneth, the man that spews lies, GOOD FOR YOU! Your publication of his flaws will ABSOLUTELY do something other than make you seem like a crazy person. I mean, I'm sorry he dumped you, but get some wine and watch the notebook like the rest of us. I can't really decide who this is more of a win for- CITY PAPER, which came up with this idea, or for me, because now I get to read them all. Who knows, maybe these love/hates are a good way for people to blow off steam so that they don't become violent. But if you ask me, it's just a way for them to blow up the newsprint and make themselves look like idiots. That I can laugh at, of course.
2) I know that some might say that Gingrich was the winner here, but trust me, I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart won this debate, which is quite a feat, considering he was not in attendance.
1) Melissa McCarthy, who has been nominated for an Oscar for her work in "Bridesmaids." I think that's freakin' awesome. She was hilarious in that movie. cha-ching!! WINNING!!!
3) At the end of my street there is a diner that looks adorable, but we somehow have not managed to get to yet. Outside of this diner are a bunch of free newspaper bins, one of which belongs to Philly's famed, independent "CITY PAPER." Ben and I used it once to wrap each other's Christmas presents, and hey, who could have known that it would go so well?? Turns out there are several pages of...ahem...."adult" classifieds, complete with pictures and vivid descriptions. Christmas wrap AND a good laugh? What more could you want from a free newspaper?? I have the answer. THIS. Now, I'll admit, there are a couple of these that are very sad and/or heartfelt, and to the people who submitted those, I hope everything works out for you. To even fewer- THANK YOU for being so positive!! BUT THE REST OF YOU: how awesome must it feel to have your road rage, complete with a wish that all of this reckless driver's children die of brain tumors, in print?? And the woman who was scored by Kenneth, the man that spews lies, GOOD FOR YOU! Your publication of his flaws will ABSOLUTELY do something other than make you seem like a crazy person. I mean, I'm sorry he dumped you, but get some wine and watch the notebook like the rest of us. I can't really decide who this is more of a win for- CITY PAPER, which came up with this idea, or for me, because now I get to read them all. Who knows, maybe these love/hates are a good way for people to blow off steam so that they don't become violent. But if you ask me, it's just a way for them to blow up the newsprint and make themselves look like idiots. That I can laugh at, of course.
2) I know that some might say that Gingrich was the winner here, but trust me, I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart won this debate, which is quite a feat, considering he was not in attendance.
1) Melissa McCarthy, who has been nominated for an Oscar for her work in "Bridesmaids." I think that's freakin' awesome. She was hilarious in that movie. cha-ching!! WINNING!!!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Monday, Monday, Monday
HERE is a song about Mondays that will get stuck in your head and (hopefully) make you feel less sucky about the day. If nothing else, the creepy-ass monkeys in the video will give you something to talk about.
It was gross here today. The clouds were lingering quite close to the ground, just barely missing the slush that is still everywhere, and while it wasn't really raining, the air was so thick and heavy, you could probably chew it if you wanted to.
It was one of those days that makes me euro-sick, that is- one of those days that reminds me about my trip to Ireland years ago, where the weather was always like this and you wouldn't have to go too far before you found a nice grassy knoll where sheep were grazing (with colored patches on their wool so that farmers could differentiate). The fog and the damp and the almost-rain always remind me to promise myself that I'll return to Ireland one day. I feel like I will appreciate everything more now that I am out of high school. That's just the way some things are- or, okay, almost everything is.
Today is Monday. I got to thinking about it as a boarded the bus to Greene Street this afternoon. Everybody was a little droopy, perhaps because of the weather, but maybe also because it's Monday. Have you ever known somebody whose favorite weekday is Monday? I doubt it. Nobody likes them. Just ask Garfield. I think almost everybody chalks all the Monday blues up to social norms. People have hated Monday for as long as we've known, why mess with a good thing? Hell, it feels GOOD to throw a little hatred Monday's way. But did you know that there are studies that provide conclusive (ish) evidence that Mondays are ACTUALLY the most depressing day of the week? It's true. I googled it! And there are a freakishly HUGE number of articles related to this topic.
According to one article (linked here if you'd like to view for yourself), on average, people do not smile until 11:16 am on a Monday morning, and that nearly half of employees are late for work (though I think that seems rather high...) and will only log 3 1/2 hours of actual productivity (THAT, on the other hand, seems about right...). However, this article also includes a testimony from a clinical psychologist which suggests that perhaps the workplace IS the best place for you on a Monday morning- humans tend to have tribal instincts and really DO feel much better once they have reconnected with the tribe in their office, school, what have you. Once we have re-established a connection, we are more apt to get our work done, which might explain the dip in productivity that day. Though I do wonder what the numbers are like for Fridays- I feel like there's not a lot being done on those days either...
There is another study (this one) which explains that the key to avoiding the Monday blues is simple- just stop sleeping in on the weekends! Yeah, I know, what a ridiculous notion. Unfortunately, it does seem to be rooted in actual fact. Apparently, when we sleep in for a couple hours on Saturday and Sunday, we are actually giving our brains a little bit of a jet-lag, so we are not as sleepy Sunday night, and certainly not ready to hop out of bed bright and early on Monday morning. This is a very interesting point, but I'm gonna level with you- I like sleeping in on the weekends, so I'll just go with denial. Hey, that study was conducted using samples of saliva and measurement of hormones and questionnaires. Since WHEN have ANY of those things been helpful?
Regardless of what you think about Monday OR any of this silly Monday research, I feel like I should mention some cures for the Monday blues that were included in the first article (TRUST me, they needed a team of trained professionals to come up with these)....
"the best way to beat those Monday blues is by indulging in activities like watching television, having sex, online shopping, buying chocolate or make-up, or planning a holiday"
oh, okay. if you insist!
happy monday, everybody! :)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
at least we're over the hump...
Remember all the way back when Grey's Anatomy didn't suck? It used to be a medical drama based around a group of (somewhat) likeable characters and their experiences as surgical residents. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes sad, sometimes exciting- would the patient pull through? You could relate to those people- they were like someone you knew. I liked that. Now it's just a bunch of whiney "doctors" who do nothing but sleep around and continue to be totally shocked when one terrible thing after another happens at their hospital- bombs, car accidents involving emergency vehicles, floods, crazy people with guns- who knew Seattle was such a violent place>? I don't watch it anymore- too much stress. Plus, there's just something about the interview decorum of series creator Shonda Rhimes that rubs me the wrong way. That whole "Oh, haha, I know what's going to happen and YOU don't!" "Better watch this week! Someone's gonna DIE!" Yeah. No. I'll pass.
But I digress...
There is one particular moment from those early episodes that has always stood out to me- a moment I can really sympathize with. George O'Malley, who is aggravated, upset, and visibly flustered, bursts through a door and thrusts himself down amongst his friends. "Who here feels like they have NO idea what they're doing?" he spits, and everybody raises their hand. I'm with you, George.
I think, if I were totally honest with myself, I dont know what I'm doing about 75% of the time. This usually doesn't include the easy stuff, like my commute (although sometimes it does...you'd be surprised.) I know what I WANT to do in the future, I think I know the steps I have to take to get there- and yet, sometimes I feel so totally lost- how is ANYTHING I'm doing going to help me get what I want? Am I already too old to get on the right track? Is any of what I've done even CLOSE to the track I want to be on? Most of the time, I am able to rationalize the steps I have taken so far, and realize that rushing right into grad school is not the best choice for me right now. I have to keep plugging away and taking whatever opportunities I can get. I need more life experience than I have right now. I feel like if I rushed back to get my masters, it would feel like undergrad: round two, and I would end up trying to teach a group of college students who are still around my same age, most of whom wouldn't take me the slightest bit seriously. I know I wouldn't. But still. This week has been one of those weeks- where I've felt lost approximately 100% of the time. There are still a couple of days left though. Maybe I'll come around.
Not about Grey's Anatomy, though. Nowadays it just plain sucks.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
love me some jack hodgins...
...and lance sweets, of course.
i'm watching bones and doing chores while ben tries to sell over priced clothes at the third most-robbed banana republic store in the country.
i'm having computer issues- or power cord issues, i guess. fortunately, i have a mac that is less than a year old, so i'm hoping that a fairly simple trip to an apple store will provide with me a new power cord and solve all my problems. i know that issues with technology are not usually that easy, but that seems to always be the case with apple and mac products, so i'll dare to dream.
being without a computer does strange things to my brain, which doesn't say much about my ability to survive without technology, but really, who can nowadays?? i just mean that i want to write and research and record things and listen to my podcasts, and i can't. sure, there's ben's computer--and his desktop, but they don't have all my STUFF. plus the lap top is a dinosaur and i can't relax on my bed and use the desktop at the same time. *sigh* i'll just have to be patient.
while i was home (in maine, that is...), i had to field several questions about how i was liking philly, and you know, my answer was far different than it was around thanksgiving. in november i would have told everyone that the city was nice but that i was going to be ready to leave it when the time came. now, i still feel like the city is nice, but more and more i feel like i am finding a niche here. i'm starting to feel like i'm establishing myself in a way that i can actually see getting bigger and better. i have a nice apartment in a safe neighborhood, and across the street from my house is an amazing thai restaurant and a deli which makes THE best cheesesteak in philly (and i really do know, i've tried all of the "big three" and a few others...). we live near a main street full of bars and gourmet food stores and consignment shops and all kinds of awesome. we also live near pretzel park.
i have a job that allows me the freedom to embrace my hobbies. i get to work with kids who i love, and get to flex my educational muscles as well as my motherly ones. also, working with kids= the best birth control ever. in the world. who has two thumbs and will certainly not have kids until she's totally ready? THIS girl!
i have an internship at one of the more prominent theatre companies in philadelphia, and i hope that within the next few months, i'll be able to start teaching theatre classes too-- i start assisting teachers next week!! :)
i feel like i've built a pretty good life here- and i will be sorry to have to leave it, because in all likelihood, i WILL have to. there are avenues that could be explored where i DO stay here, but the thing about those is, i'm not wild about the other things that they entail- i.e. ben being in new york and me not being allowed to live in student housing and unable to afford to live in new york by myself. but i guess, in that scenario, at least i have this city to cheer me up. i like it here.
i'm watching bones and doing chores while ben tries to sell over priced clothes at the third most-robbed banana republic store in the country.
i'm having computer issues- or power cord issues, i guess. fortunately, i have a mac that is less than a year old, so i'm hoping that a fairly simple trip to an apple store will provide with me a new power cord and solve all my problems. i know that issues with technology are not usually that easy, but that seems to always be the case with apple and mac products, so i'll dare to dream.
being without a computer does strange things to my brain, which doesn't say much about my ability to survive without technology, but really, who can nowadays?? i just mean that i want to write and research and record things and listen to my podcasts, and i can't. sure, there's ben's computer--and his desktop, but they don't have all my STUFF. plus the lap top is a dinosaur and i can't relax on my bed and use the desktop at the same time. *sigh* i'll just have to be patient.
while i was home (in maine, that is...), i had to field several questions about how i was liking philly, and you know, my answer was far different than it was around thanksgiving. in november i would have told everyone that the city was nice but that i was going to be ready to leave it when the time came. now, i still feel like the city is nice, but more and more i feel like i am finding a niche here. i'm starting to feel like i'm establishing myself in a way that i can actually see getting bigger and better. i have a nice apartment in a safe neighborhood, and across the street from my house is an amazing thai restaurant and a deli which makes THE best cheesesteak in philly (and i really do know, i've tried all of the "big three" and a few others...). we live near a main street full of bars and gourmet food stores and consignment shops and all kinds of awesome. we also live near pretzel park.
i have a job that allows me the freedom to embrace my hobbies. i get to work with kids who i love, and get to flex my educational muscles as well as my motherly ones. also, working with kids= the best birth control ever. in the world. who has two thumbs and will certainly not have kids until she's totally ready? THIS girl!
i have an internship at one of the more prominent theatre companies in philadelphia, and i hope that within the next few months, i'll be able to start teaching theatre classes too-- i start assisting teachers next week!! :)
i feel like i've built a pretty good life here- and i will be sorry to have to leave it, because in all likelihood, i WILL have to. there are avenues that could be explored where i DO stay here, but the thing about those is, i'm not wild about the other things that they entail- i.e. ben being in new york and me not being allowed to live in student housing and unable to afford to live in new york by myself. but i guess, in that scenario, at least i have this city to cheer me up. i like it here.
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